Day Brightener -Footballisms A Lot Of Good Laughs!! 

“Gentlemen, it is better to have died a small boy than to fumble the football”…. 
– John Heisman, first football coach at Rice

“I make my practices real hard because if a player is a quitter, I want him to quit in practice, not in a game.” 
– Bear Bryant / Alabama 

“It isn’t necessary to see a good tackle, you can hear it!” 
– Knute Rockne / Notre Dame 

“At Georgia Southern, we don’t cheat. That costs money, and we don’t have any.” 
– Erik Russell / Georgia Southern 

“The man who complains about the way the ball bounces is likely to be the one who dropped it.” 
–  Lou Holtz / Arkansas – Notre Dame 

“When you win, nothing hurts.” 
–  Joe Namath / Alabama 

“A school without football is in danger of deteriorating into a medieval study hall” 
–  Frank Leahy / Notre Dame 

“There’s nothing that cleanses your soul like getting the hell kicked out of you.” 
–  Woody Hayes / Ohio State 

“I don’t expect to win enough games to be put on NCAA probation I just want to win enough to warrant an investigation.” 
–  Bob Devaney / Nebraska 

“In Alabama, an atheist is someone who doesn’t believe in Bear Bryant.” 
–  Wally Butts / Georgia 

“I never graduated from Iowa. But I was only there for two terms – Truman’s and Eisenhower’s.” 
–  Alex Karras / Iowa 

“My advice to defensive players is to take the shortest route to the ball, and arrive in a bad humor.” 
–  Bowden Wyatt / Tennessee 

“I could have been a Rhodes Scholar except for my grades.” 
– Duffy Daugherty / Michigan State 

“Always remember Goliath was a 40-point favorite over David.” 
– Shug Jordan / Auburn 

“I asked Darrell Royal, the coach of the Texas Longhorns, why he didn’t recruit me ” He said, “Well, Walt, we took a look at you, and you weren’t any good.” 
–    Walt Garrison / Oklahoma State/Dallas Cowboys 

“Son, you’ve got a good engine, but your hands aren’t on the steering wheel.” 
–  Bobby Bowden / Florida State 

“Football is NOT a contact sport, it is a collision sport. Dancing IS a contact sport.”   – 
– Duffy Daugherty / Michigan State 

After USC lost 51-0 to Notre Dame, his post-game message to his team was; “All those who need showers, take them.” 
–  John McKay / USC 

“If lessons are learned in defeat, our team is getting a great education.” 
–  Murray Warmath / Minnesota 

“The only qualifications for a lineman are to be big and dumb. To be a back, you only have to be dumb.” 
–  Knute Rockne / Notre Dame 

“We live one day at a time and scratch where it itches.” 
–  Darrell Royal / Texas 

“We didn’t tackle well today, but we made up for it by not blocking.” 
–  John McKay / USC 

“I’ve found that prayers work best when you have big players.” 
–  Knute Rockne / Notre Dame 

“He doesn’t know the meaning of the word fear. In fact, I just saw his grades and he doesn’t know the meaning of a 
lot of words.” 
– Ohio State’s Urban Meyer 

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