A golfer hits his ball into a yard next to the golf course. As he goes to get it a man in the yard says, “Don’t you see the sign? It says, ‘Private property – Stay Out!'”

The golfer says, “I’m sorry I did not see it. That is my ball there. May I have it, please?”

The man says, “It’s in my yard and so it’s my ball now.”

The golfer looks at the man and says, “I understand”

He then walks back to the golf cart, gets another golf ball, then walks back and throws it into the yard.

The man says, “What is that for?” The golfer replies, “I consider myself a Gentleman, and I believe every prick should have two balls.”

“Honey it’s me. I don’t want to alarm you but a car hit me as I was leaving the office. Paula brought me to the hospital. They have checked me over and done some tests and some x-rays. The blow to my head was severe. Fortunately it did not cause any serious internal injury. However I have three broken ribs, a compound fracture in the left leg, and they think they may have to amputate my right foot.”

Wife’s Response: “Who is Paula?”