Bonus Day Brightener – More On Texas
Day Brightener – Tee Shirt Humor
Day Brightener – Curtis And Leroy Mule Traders
Curtis & Leroy bought a mule for $100. The farmer agreed to deliver the mule the next day. The next morning the farmer drove up and said, “Sorry, fellows, I have some bad news, the mule died last night.”
Curtis & Leroy replied,”Well, then just give us our money back.” The farmer said,”Can’t do that. I went and spent it already.” They said, “OK then, just bring us the dead mule.” The farmer asked, “What in the world ya’ll gonna do with a dead mule?” Curtis said, “We gonna raffle him off.”
The farmer said, “You can’t raffle off a dead mule!” Leroy said, “We shore can! We don’t hafta tell nobody he’s dead!” A couple of weeks later, the farmer ran into Curtis & Leroy at the Piggly Wiggly grocery store and asked. “What’d you fellers ever do with that dead mule?”
They said,”We raffled him off like we said we wuz gonna do.” Leroy said,”We sold 500 tickets fer two dollars apiece and made a profit of $898.” The farmer said, “Didn’t anyone complain?” Curtis said, “Well, the feller who won got upset. So we gave him his two dollars back.”
Curtis and Leroy now work for the government. They’re overseeing the Bailout & Stimulus Programs.
Day Brightener – Some A Little Edgy, But All Funny
I can remember what is dipicted in both pictures.
Wished it were not so true!
Bonus Day Brightener – Grounds for Divorce
Grounds for Divorce;
A judge was interviewing a woman regarding her pending divorce, and asked,
“What are the grounds for your divorce?”
She replied, “About four acres and a nice little home in the middle of the property with a stream running by.”
“No,” he said, “I mean what is the foundation of this case?”
“It is made of concrete, brick and mortar,” she responded.
“I mean,” he continued, “What are your relations like?”
“I have an aunt and uncle living here in town, and so do my husband’s parents.”
He said, “Do you have a real grudge?”
“No,” she replied, “We have a two-car carport and have never really needed one.”
“Please,” he tried again, “is there any infidelity in your marriage?”
“Yes, both my son and daughter have stereo sets. We don’t necessarily like the music, but the answer to your questions is yes.”
“Ma’am, does your husband ever beat you up?”
“Yes,” she responded, “about twice a week he gets up earlier than I do.”
Finally, in frustration, the judge asked, “Lady, why do you want a divorce?”
“Oh, I don’t want a divorce,” she replied. “I’ve never wanted a divorce.
My husband does. He said he can’t communicate with me.”
Day Brightener – Quirky Signs, Each With Commentary
If you have a dog, you know this sign is all too accurate. While funny, it’s also true. We need to try our best not to be like our beloved dogs. Getting distracted by a squirrel while driving can be catastrophic. We’ll leave that diversion to the dogs. They do a better job of chasing the squirrels down, anyway.
They created a special parking sign for cilantro haters that allows them to park right up front. According to the sign, “It’s the least we can do.” That’s very kind of Chipotle. Some people will never know the joy of biting into a cilantro-laden burrito. These people deserve some good things in life, like a shorter walk into their favorite restaurant.
Despite all the challenges we face on a daily basis and across the world, living remains popular. No one knows why. We love the sarcastic tone of this sign. Sometimes, the only way to cope is through humor and laughing in the face of adversity. Wow. Who knew Vince the Sign Guy would make us feel so introspective?
We’re kind of glad they did, though. It’s not every day you get to see a house of worship celebrating the famously vulgar acronym. This is pretty iconic. We wouldn’t be surprised if this sign actually drew in more visitors because of its racy implications. This church is cutting-edge and controversial without even trying that hard.
If we’re honest, it took us a second to realize the joke. How in the heck can a Reynold’s Wrap box fit a hat inside? Then we remembered our tin foil hat friends and immediately got the joke. Reynold’s Wrap not only comes in hand in the kitchen. It can also prevent mind control and electromagnetic fields from entering your brain. How nifty.
While we doubt two newly introduced lovers would take the time to read this sign, we appreciate the clear boundaries and directions provided. They’re not banning hook-ups. They’re simply creating a safe space for others who just want to do their business in peace while out at a pub. We hope guests comply with the “quiet” guideline, but we doubt it.
This funny signage is for those of us with a dark sense of humor. Someone found these two businesses living next to each other and simply had to take a photo. As you can see, there’s an Illinois cremation center and a pizza place right next to each other. What do these two businesses have in common?
Humans doing dumb things is par for the course. Why don’t we take time to look within ourselves and improve our natural impulses to make dumb decisions? We’re getting too philosophical here. Anyway, this sign is pure genius. We would definitely visit a business if we saw this sign outside.
We truly hope there’s an “Em Path” and “Socio Path” nearby to complete the collection. The wildest part of this whole photo is that the street sign looks like a legit, official sign. It’s not even a joke! Hopefully, the name of the street is not indicative of the people who live there.
That picture down below? Yup, that’s an infographic of a pair of eggs getting snipped. That’s a pretty harsh punishment for not being able to hold it in. The huge exclamation point at the end really drives home the point that this sign means business. Let’s all aim to wait until we’re home to go to the bathroom, lest we meet the fate outlined in this sign.
At least it gets the message across. Sin = bad, and Jesus = good is really all you need to know in order to join the church. The messaging is simple yet effective. Plus, it lets congregants know that this church does not have the time to melt out in the sun for the sake of a well-thought-out sign. They have better things to do.
If you tell this guy how to do his job, you’re in for some serious repercussions. This business owner is not responsible for any bodily injuries that may come to a mouthy customer. If a wrench goes flying through the air after a snippy comment, it’s every man for himself. It’s best to keep that mouth shut, or else this sign will become a reality.
What a drag. Instead of flawless, efficient work, their human employees are actual people who make mistakes and don’t like being verbally abused by customers. What a novel concept. We appreciate this sign because it seems like customers forget that service workers have feelings, too. It’s not their fault if they’re provoked to react unpredictably, as this sign suggests.
At this office, there’s no use pretending that suggestions are welcome. They’re not. You might as well put your suggestion card in its final resting place: your boss’s paper shredder. At least they’re being honest. No one wants to read your “helpful” suggestion anyway, Karen. Straight into the trash it will go.
This escalator is refusing to escalate,” the sign read, “This has been escalated to the engineer who is on their way up (or down) to check it out.” We are literally laughing out loud. We’ve never seen a sign that escalates so quickly. The best part is that this sign appears to be permanent. That means the Euston station made the sign, had it approved, and professionally printed it for repeated use. We love it.
Day Brightener – You Knew Texas Was Big But?
By the way, it is further from Houston to El Paso than from El Paso to San Diego. 747 miles vs. 724 miles.
Just wow!!! I can’t believe this, Did you know??? We all know the State of Texas is huge. Most don’t know about the TEX-A-PLEX. Do you? It will blow your mind!!!!
Baylor is the only university, in existence today that was founded when we were the republic of Texas!
The triangular region framed in by the cities of Austin, Dallas–Fort Worth, Houston, and San Antonio is experiencing a wave of growth of historic proportions more than anywhere in the world.
In 2020, the population of the Texas Triangle reached nearly 21 million.
The Texas Triangle contains five of the 20 largest cities in the U.S., and was home to more than 70% of all Texans: City of Dallas, City of Fort Worth, City of Austin, City of Houston and City of San Antonio
The Dallas Fort Worth International Airport (DFW) is bigger than all of Mannahattan.
The The University of Texas at Austin is the third largest land owner in the United States.
San Antonio is bigger than New York City and Detroit combined.
Houston has a bigger population than Colorado and 34 other states.
Four of the top ten metro statistical areas are in Texas.
The Texas economy is on fire. The state added 660,000 new jobs last year – more jobs than any other, and twice the number of new jobs compared to its historical average. With Dallas by far leading the growth. 50,000 jobs a month, I mean, that’s almost 2,000 jobs a day every day of the week for an entire year.
No state income tax
The Tex-a-plex is home to over 50 Fortune 500 companies. And has more Fortune 1000 companies than any other state.
At 2.4 TRILLION, Texas is ranked as the 9th largest economy among nations of the world by GDP, ahead of Canada, South Korea, Russia, and Australia.
Texas is the largest exporter of goods in the United States
Dallas is home to the fourth most BILLIONAIRES in the world.
Houston has more than 5,000 energy related firms and is the energy capital of the world.
The Texas Medical Center is the largest in the world located in Houston.
25% of ALL retail space in the United States is in Texas.
Austin is the live music capital of the world. South By Southwest Austin City Limits Live at The Moody Theater (ACL Live)
The are 12 professional sports teams in the Tex-A-Plex.
You can further your education in the great state of Texas at any one of the 159 universities and colleges in order to prepare yourself for a successful and prosperous career. Including 6 medical schools.
Texas A&M University has an enrollment of 74,829 the largest student body in the United States
Day Brightener – History Most Quite Interesting
“8 Goths and 22 Norwegians on an exploration journey from Vinland very far west. We had camp by two skerries one day’s journey north from this stone. We were fishing one day. After we came home, found 10 men red with blood and dead. AVM (Ave Maria) save from evil. Have 10 men by the sea to look after our ships, 14 days’ journey from this island. Year 1362.”
The runic text on the stone translates to a message claiming that a group of Norse explorers from Vinland (a term used to refer to areas in North America) had traveled westward and encountered tragedy. The inscription implies that they were part of a larger expedition and that ten men were massacred.
The Kensington Runestone gained attention and sparked debate among scholars, historians, and archaeologists. Some argue that the artifact is an authentic medieval Norse artifact, suggesting that Vikings may have explored much farther into North America than previously believed. They point to linguistic and runological analysis to support their claims.
However, others remain skeptical about the authenticity of the Kensington Runestone. Critics argue that the stone shows signs of modern carving techniques and that the inscription’s language and grammar do not align with known medieval Norse writings. They suggest that it could be a hoax or a deliberate forgery.
Numerous studies, investigations, and scholarly debates have taken place over the years, but a consensus has yet to be reached. The Kensington Runestone remains a subject of controversy and intrigue, with supporters and skeptics continuing to present their arguments.
Civilisation isn’t 6k years old…
Göbekli Tepe is one of the great mysteries of the world. Located on the territory of present-day Turkey 
it was erected around 10,000 years before Christ by supposed nomadic societies of hunter-gatherers from the Neolithic period.
Alignment with Constellations :
Everything in Göbekli Tepe is mysterious. From the techniques used to erect the monoliths without the help of animals to the fact that no human settlements were found near this temple. The site is believed to be a shrine due to its configuration and alignment with different constellations, and thus it is deduced that there was a cult that looked to the sky.
The discoveries made in the region suggest that this was the exact point at which the revolution in agriculture, religion and even society began. It is possible that the complex of temples or shrines at Göbekli Tepe represented fertility, life or abundance, as reliefs found there depict animals.
Göbekli Tepe is a challenge for archaeologists, as it completely rejects the idea that only sedentary communities erected monumental buildings. That’s because the temple was possibly built by nomads more than 6,000 years before Stonehenge or the pyramids of Egypt
Until about 20 years ago, it was thought that ‘civilisation’ made its appearance with Sumerians, about 7000 years ago. But few years ago, on border between Syria and Turkey, Göbekli Tepe and neighbouring settlements were discovered. Everything has changed since then.
Oldest remains of Göbekli Tepe date back at least 12,000 years. Some monoliths found in ruins depict human beings dressed only in loincloths. But 12,000 years ago, humanity was in middle of Younger Dryas (small ice age). So, it is impossible for people of that time to have been walking around in just a loincloth. To be able to walk around dressed like that, temperature had to be mild. But last “mild” period before Younger Dryas ended around 110,000 BC, when Last Ice Age began. So at least some parts of Göbekli Tepe may date back to that ancient period.
At Göbekli Tepe ideograms were engraved, i.e., engravings that do not represent animals or things, but abstract concepts. These could be first example of human writing, at least 5,000 years earlier than that of Sumerians. Buildings at Göbekli Tepe are not made of wood, or straw, but are composed of limestone. Some pillars weigh as much as 20 tonnes. Inhabitants of Göbekli Tepe were able to build houses and villages out of stone thousands of years before Sumerians.
On a stone slab called ‘Stele of the Cranes’, people of Göbekli Tepe tell of an encounter between themselves and ‘beings from outside’, from sky, at same time that a comet streaked across the sky. Moreover, engraved tale alludes to a period of time when a comet bombardment wrought immense destruction across Earth.
We may find it funny that we divide hours into 60 minutes and days into 24 hours; why not a multiple of 10 or 12?. In short, the answer is that the inventors of time did not operate with a decimal (base 10) or duodecimal (base 12), but with a sexagesimal system (base 60). For ancient Sumerian innovators who first divided the motions of the skies into countable intervals, 60 was the perfect number. The number 60 can be divided into 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 10, 12, 15, 20 and 30 equal parts. In addition, ancient astronomers believed that a year had 360 days, a number that 60 fits perfectly into six times. The Sumerian Empire didn’t last. Yet for over 5,000 years the world keeps measuring time as they dictated. And if time is an illusion in the spiritual sense is this invention a good or a bad thing? From my perspective looking at their tablets and what not they seem to have been a very patriarchal and submissive culture…
This complexity is also shown in the artistically designed and skillfully made clothing they wore.
Much of our knowledge of this clothing comes from artwork that has been found at the sites where the Minoans lived, thousands of years before most recorded history.
The ritual killing of swords for burial with a warrior was a common practice during the Viking era throughout Scandinavia. This practice involved the deliberate destruction of swords, where the blades were beaten, bent, or twisted, sometimes folded together in a way that required preparation, expertise, and equipment. This special treatment of swords underscores their distinctive role in Norse society.
This pictured example, with engraved silver hilts, was excavated at Vold Farm in Grue, Norway. This sword dates back to the 9th century, a time when the Viking culture was in its prime. The engraved silver hilts add to the historical and cultural significance of this artifact, reflecting the craftsmanship and artistic skills of the Viking era.
This sword, like many others found in similar contexts, was likely ‘killed’ as part of a burial ritual. The idea behind this practice could be that a biographical or animated presence in a certain sword demanded a ritual for ‘killing’ these powerful objects during burial rituals. However, the bending, twisting, and destruction of swords and other weapons must also be seen as an expression of a more general idea of swords, weapons, and funerary rituals in Late Iron Age and Viking Age Scandinavia.
Today, this sword is housed at the Viking Ships Museum.
Why Isn’t This Map in the History Books?
By the age of 10, most children in the United States have been taught all 50 states that make up the country. But centuries ago, the land that is now the United States was a very different place. Over 20 million Native Americans dispersed across over 1,000 distinct tribes, bands, and ethnic groups populated the territory.
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