Freedom is not worth having if it does not include the freedom to make mistakes.
Mahatma Gandhi

One of the basic rules of the universe is that nothing is perfect. Perfection simply doesn’t exist … Without imperfection, neither you nor I would exist. 
Stephen Hawking

A life spent making mistakes is not only more honorable, but more useful than a life spent doing nothing. 
George Bernard Shaw

I hope that in this year to come, you make mistakes. Because if you are making mistakes, then you are making new things, trying new things, learning, living, pushing yourself, changing yourself, changing your world. 
Neil Gaiman

We should regret our mistakes and learn from them, but never carry them forward into the future with us. 
Lucy Maud Montgomery

Living with regrets was like driving a car that only moved in reverse. 
Jodi Picoult

All men make mistakes, but a good man yields when he knows his course is wrong and repairs the evil. The only crime is pride. 
Sophocles

Mistakes are, after all, the foundations of truth, and if a man does not know what a thing is, it is at least an increase in knowledge if he knows what it is not. 
Carl Jung

A step backward, after making a wrong turn, is a step in the right direction. 
Kurt Vonnegut

I never made a mistake in my life. I thought I did once, but I was wrong. 
Charles M. Schulz

You need to give yourself permission to be human. 
Joyce Brothers

What is done cannot be undone, but one can prevent it happening again. 
Anne Frank

If you keep lookin’ back, you gon’ trip going forward. 
Gucci Mane

A man of genius makes no mistakes. His errors are volitional and are the portals to discovery. 
James Joyce

That’s the very reason they put rubbers on the end of pencils … because people make mistakes. 
Phoebe Waller-Bridge

Do not fear mistakes, there are none. 
Miles Davis

Q: I’ve heard that cardiovascular exercise can prolong life. Is this true? 

A: Heart only good for so many beats, and that’s it… Don’t waste time on exercise. Everything wear out eventually. Speeding up heart not make you live longer; it’s like saying you extend life of a car by driving faster. Want to live longer? – Take nap.

 

Q: Should I reduce my alcohol intake?
A: Oh no. Wine made from fruit. Fruit very good. Brandy distilled wine, that means they take water out of fruity bit so you get even more of goodness that way. Beer also made of grain. Grain good too. – Bottoms up!

Q: What are some of the advantages of participating in a regular exercise program?
A: Can’t think of one, sorry. My philosophy: No pain…very good!

 

 Q: Aren’t fried foods bad for you?
 A: YOU NOT LISTENING! Food fried in vegetable oil. How getting more vegetable be bad?

 

Q: Is chocolate bad for me?
A: You crazy?!? HEL-LO-O-O!! Cocoa bean! Another vegetable! It best feel-good food around.

 

Q: Is swimming good for your figure?

A: If swimming good for figure, explain whale to me.

 Q: Is getting in shape important for my lifestyle?
 A: Hey! ‘Round’ is also a shape!

 Well… I hope this has cleared up any misconceptions you may have had about food and diets.

  And remember:

Finally, the Japanese Doctor summed up: Look mister, Life should NOT be a journey to the grave with the intention of arriving safely in an attractive and well-preserved body, but rather to skid in sideways – Beer in one hand – chocolate in the other – body thoroughly used up, totally worn out and screaming “WOO-HOO, what a ride my life was”!!!!!

 Eat whatever you like, don’t allow motivational speakers deceive you.

 1. The inventor of the treadmill died at the age of 54.

 2. The inventor of gymnastics died at the age of 57.

 3. The world bodybuilding champion died at the age of 41.

 4. The best footballer in the world Maradona died at the age of 60.

 BUT

5. The KFC inventor died at 94.

 6. Inventor of Nutella brand died at the age of 88.

 7. Imagine, cigarette maker Winston died at the age of 102.

 

 8. The inventor of opium died at the age of 116 in an earthquake.

 

 9. Hennessey Cognac inventor died at 98.

 

 How did these doctors come to the conclusion that exercise prolongs life?

 The rabbit is always jumping up and down but it lives for only 2 years and the turtle that doesn’t exercise at all, lives 400 years.

 So, take some rest, chill, stay cool, eat, drink and enjoy your life.

                  Sum ting wong ??? 

                            

 

1. 125,000 golf balls a year are hit into the water at the famous 17th hole of the Stadium Course at Sawgrass .

2. The longest drive ever is 515 yards. The longest putt ever is a monstrous 375 feet 

3. Phil Mickelson, who plays left-handed, is actually right handed. He learned to play golf by mirroring his father’s golf swing,  and he has used left handed golf clubs ever since. 

4. The chances of making two holes-in-one in a round of golf are one in 67 million.

5. Tiger Woods snagged his first ace at the tender age of eight years old. 

6. Balls travel significantly further on hot days. A golfer swinging a club at around 100 mph will carry the driver up to eight yards longer for each increase in air temperature of 25°F. 

7. The longest golf course in the world is the par 77 International Golf Club in Massachusetts which measures a fearsome 8325 yards 

8. The highest golf course in the world is the Tactu Golf Club in Morococha , Peru , which sits 14,335 feet above sea level at its lowest point.

9. The longest golf hole in the world is the 7th hole (par 7) of the Sano Course at the Satsuki Golf Club in Japan . It measures an incredible 909 yards. 

10. The largest bunker in the world is Hell’s Half Acre on the 585-yard 7th hole of the Pine Valley Course in New Jersey . 

11. The largest golfing green is that of the 695-yard, 5th hole, a par 6 at the International Golf Club in Massachusetts , with an area in excess of 28,000 square feet.

12. The driver swing speed of an average lady golfer is 62mph; 96mph for an average LPGA professional; 84mph for an average male golfer; 108mph for an average PGA Tour player; 130mph for Tiger Woods; 148-152mph for a national long drive champion. 

 13. There are 336 dimples on a regulation golf ball.

14. The first golf balls were made of thin leather stuffed with feathers. Tightly-packed feathers made balls that flew the farthest. Feather balls were used until 1848. 

 

 

 

 

 

 

“If you want to know how old a woman is, ask her sister-in-law.”  (Eva Gabor)

 “Old age comes at a bad time.” (Ed Sullivan)

“Inside every older person is a younger person wondering what happened.” (Stevie Wonder)

“Old age is like a plane flying through a storm. Once you are aboard, there is nothing you can do about it.”  (Golda Meir)

“The older I get, the more clearly I remember things that never happened. (Mark Twain)

“I’m at that age where my back goes out more than I do.” (Phyllis Diller)

“Nice to be here? At my age, it’s nice to be anywhere.” (George Burns)

“You spend 90 percent of your adult life hoping for a long rest and the last 10 percent trying to convince the Lord that you’re actually not THAT tired.” (Princess Grace)

“Old people shouldn’t eat Health foods. They need all the preservatives they can get.” (Bob Hope)

“At my age, flowers scare me.” (George Burns) 

“The years between 55 and 75 are the hardest. You are always being asked to do things, and yet you are not decrepit enough to turn them down.”  (T.S. Eliot) 

“At age 20, we worry about what others think of us. At age 40, we don’t care what they think of us. At age 60, we discover they haven’t been thinking of us at all.”  (Ann Landers)

“When I was young, I was called a rugged individualist. When I was in my fifties, I was considered eccentric. Here I am doing and saying the same things I did then, but now I’m labeled senile.” (Milton Berle)

“The important thing to remember is that I’m probably going to forget.” (Martin Scorsese)

“We don’t grow older, we grow riper.” (Pablo Picasso)

“It’s paradoxical that the idea of living a long life appeals to everyone, but the idea of getting old doesn’t appeal to anyone.”  (Andy Rooney)

“The older I get, the better I used to be.” (Lee Trevino) 

“I was thinking about how people seem to read the Bible a lot more as they get older, and then it dawned on me – they’re cramming for their final exam.” (George Carlin)

“Everything seems to slow down with age, except the time it takes cake and ice cream to reach your hips.” (Elizabeth Taylor)

“When your friends begin to flatter you on how young you look, it’s a sure sign you’re getting old.” (Mark Twain) 

“Looking fifty is great – if you’re sixty.”  (Joan Rivers)

“Time may be a great Healer, but it’s a lousy Beautician.” (Zsa Zsa Gabor) 

Due to my time alone, I finished three books yesterday. And believe me, that is a lot of coloring.

What did our parents do to kill boredom before the internet? I asked my 26 brothers and sisters, and they did not know either. 
  
I tried donating blood today…NEVER AGAIN! Too many stupid questions: Who’s blood, is it? Where did you get it from? Why is it in a bucket?
  
There is nothing scarier than that split second when you lose your balance in the shower and you think, “They are going to find me naked.”

Today, I melted an ice cube with my mind just by staring at it. It took a lot longer than I thought it would. 
  
Struggling to get your wife’s attention? Just sit down and look comfortable. 
  
Just sold my homing pigeon on eBay for the 22nd time. 
  
I grew up with Steve Jobs, Johnny Cash and Bob Hope. Now there is no jobs, no cash, and no hope. Please do not let anything happen to Kevin Bacon. 
  
Shout-out to everyone who can still remember their childhood phone number but cannot remember the password they created yesterday. You are my people. 
  
One minute you are young and fun. And next, you are turning down the stereo in your car to see better. 
  
Think you are old and you will be old. Think you are young, and you will be delusional.

When I offer to wash your back in the shower, all you have to say is ‘yes’ or ‘no’.  Not all this “Who are you and how did you get in here?” nonsense.

Not in jail, not in a mental hospital, not in a grave—I would say I am having a good day*******************