Day Brightener – Remembering The Best Of Charles Schulz And His Peanuts Cartoons

You might like to recall..October 3, 1950 Peanuts” first debuted in seven newspapers under the United Features Syndicate. Developed by Charles M. Schulz, who was raised Lutheran in Minneapolis and Saint Paul, Minnesota, “Peanuts” ran for nearly 50 years and was published in 2,600 newspapers, 75 countries and 21 languages. The little red haired girl who was his first love, passed on him because her mother thought he would never amount to anything.

Take the time to look at these gems of wisdom from good old Charles Schultz………….wonderful. – These were truly wonderful times when things were based more on common sense.

Day Brightener – In Golf As In Other Pursuits Be Careful What You Ask For

David Feherty ImageDavid Feherty does a standup show that is quite spectacular. It’s all about his life in golf, the drinking and lots of stories about life on the tour. Here’s one of his stories.

Golfer and CaddieIt was back in the 70s and a very prominent golfer of the time was playing at Augusta for his first Masters…back then the players could not bring their own caddies but had to use one of the locals. This particular golfer told the caddy master he wanted a big fellow who could handle his bag but who also would keep quiet, no advice needed. He was assigned Floyd who said ” hello Mr. ………..”. The golfer said ” hello ” and ” that’s the last I want to hear.”

Everything went well until the 10th hole when the golfer pushed his drive into the right trees on the par 4…after surveying the scene he said out loud….”I’m going to hit a low fade out through that opening to carry and land mid green and roll over the crest down near the hole”.  Surprisingly he pulled it off exactly and turned to his caddy and said ” how’s that? “

The caddy spoke for the first time and said ” that wasn’t your ball.” 

Day Brightener – More One-Liners On Our Current Situation

Tomorrow is the National Home school Tornado Drill. Lock your kids in the basement until you give them the ‘all clear’. You’re welcome!

I was so bored I called Jake from State Farm just to talk to someone. He asked me what I was wearing

2019: Stay away from negative people. 2020: Stay away from positive people.

The world has turned upside down. Old folks are sneaking out of the house, and their kids are yelling at them to stay indoors!

You think it’s bad now? In 20 years, our country will be run by people home schooled by day drinkers…

This virus has done what no woman had been able to do…cancel all sports, shut down all bars, and keep men at home!!!

Do not call the police on suspicious people in your neighborhood! Those are your neighbors without makeup and hair extensions!

Since we can’t eat out, now’s the perfect time to eat better, get fit, and stay healthy. We’re quarantined! Who are we trying to impress? We have snacks, we have sweatpants – I say we use them!

Day 7 at home and the dog is looking at me like, “See? This is why I chew the furniture!”

Does anyone know if we can take showers yet or should we just keep washing our hands???

I never thought the comment “I wouldn’t touch him/her with a 6-foot pole” would become a national policy, but here we are!

Me:  Alexa what’s the weather this weekend?

Alexa:   It doesn’t matter – you’re not going anywhere.

Can everyone please just follow the government instructions so we can knock out this coronavirus and be done?! I feel like a kindergartner who keeps losing more recess time because one or two kids can’t follow directions. 

I swear my fridge just said, “what the hell do you want now?”

When this is over…what meeting do I attend first…Weight Watchers or AA?

Quarantine has turned us into dogs. We roam the house all day looking for food. We are told “no” if we get too close to strangers. And we get really excited about car rides.