“Lexophile” is a word used to describe those that have a love for words, such as “you can tune a piano, but you can’t tuna fish”, or “to write with a broken pencil is pointless.” A competition to see who can come up with the best lexophilles is held every year in an undisclosed location. This year’s winning submission is posted at the very end.

… When fish are in schools, they sometimes take debate.

… A thief who stole a calendar got twelve months.

… When the smog lifts in Los Angeles  U. C. L. A.

… The batteries were given out free of charge.

… A dentist and a manicurist married. They fought tooth and nail.

… A will is a dead giveaway

… With her marriage, she got a new name and a dress.

… A boiled egg is hard to beat.

… When you’ve seen one shopping Center you’ve seen a mall.

… Police were called to a day care Center where a three-year-old was resisting a rest.

… Did you hear about the fellow whose whole left side was cut off? He’s all right now.

… A bicycle can’t stand alone  it is two tired..

… When a clock is hungry it goes back four seconds.

… The guy who fell onto an upholstery machine is now fully recovered.

… He had a photographic memory which was never developed.

… When she saw her first strands of grey hair she thought she’d dye.

… Acupuncture is a jab well done. That’s the point of it.

And the cream of the wretched crop

… Those who get too big for their pants will be exposed in the end.