(Insert School Of Your Choice) Football Coach on one of his players: “He doesn’t know the meaning of the word fear. In fact, I just saw his grades and he doesn’t know the meaning of a lot of words.”

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What does the average (Insert School Of Your Choice) player get on his SATs? Drool.

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How many (Insert School Of Your Choice) freshmen football players does it take to change a light bulb? None. That’s a sophomore course.

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Two (Insert School Of Your Choice) football players were walking in the woods. One of them said, “Look, a dead bird.” The other looked up in the sky and said, “Where?

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What do you say to a University of (Insert School Of Your Choice) football player dressed in a three-piece suit? ” “Will the defendant please rise.”

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If three (Insert School Of Your Choice) football players are in the same car, who is driving? The police officer.

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How can you tell if an (Insert School Of Your Choice) football player has a girlfriend? There’s tobacco juice on both sides of the pickup truck.

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University of (Insert School Of Your Choice) Football Coach is only going to dress half of his players for the game this week; the other half will have to dress themselves.

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How is the (Insert School Of Your Choice) football team like an opossum? They play dead at home and get killed on the road.

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Why did the (Insert School Of Your Choice) linebacker steal a police car? He saw “911” on the side and thought it was a Porsche.

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How do you get a former (Insert School Of Your Choice) football player off your porch? Pay him for the pizza.