WHERE  is my SUNDAY paper?!”

Denny called the newspaper office and loudly demanded to know where his Sunday edition was.

“Sir”, said the newspaper employee, “today is Saturday.  The Sunday paper is  not delivered until tomorrow, on SUNDAY”.

There was quite a long pause on the other end of the phone, followed by  a ray of  recognition as Denny was heard to mutter,  “Well, shit, that explains why no one was at church either”.

COINCIDENCE

A woman and a man are lying in bed next to each other when her phone rings. She picks up, the man looks over at her and listens.

She is speaking in a cheery voice, “Hi, I’m so glad you called. Really? That’s wonderful. I’m so happy for you. That sounds terrific. Great! Thanks. Okay. Bye bye.”

She hangs up, and the man asks, “Who was that?” “Oh, she replies, “that was my husband telling me about the great time he’s having on his golf trip with you.”