• Walking can add minutes to your life. This enables you at 85 years old to spend an additional 5 months in a nursing home at $7000 per month.
• My grandpa started walking five miles a day when he was 60. Now he’s 97 years old and we don’t know where he is.
• I like long walks, especially when people who annoy me take them.
• The only reason I would take up walking is so that I could hear heavy breathing again.
• I have to walk early in the morning, before my brain figures out what I’m doing.
• I joined a health club last year, spent about 400 bucks. Haven’t lost a pound. Apparently you have to go there.
• Every time I hear the dirty word ‘exercise’, I wash my mouth out with chocolate.
• The advantage of exercising every day is so when you die, they’ll say, ‘Well, she looks good doesn’t she.’
• If you are going to try cross-country skiing, start with a small country.
• I know I got a lot of exercise the last few years – just getting over the hill.
• We all get heavier as we get older, because there’s a lot more information in our heads.
• That’s my story and I’m sticking to it.

AND

Every time I start thinking too much about how I look, I just find a Happy Hour and by the time I leave, I look just fine.

You could run this over to your friends but just e-mail it to them. If you don’t forward this to one of your friends within the next 5 minutes your bellybutton will unscrew and your butt will fall off.