Reading these one has to wonder if anybody was looking!

Man Kills Self Before Shooting Wife and Daughter This one I caught in the SGV Tribune the other day and called the Editorial Room and asked who wrote this. It took two or three readings before the editor realized that what he was reading was impossible!!! They put in a correction the next day.

Something Went Wrong in Jet Crash, Expert Says  Really? Ya think?

Police Begin Campaign to Run Down Jaywalkers  Now that’s taking things a bit far!

Panda Mating Fails; Veterinarian Takes Over  What a guy! 

Miners Refuse to Work after Death  No-good-for-nothing’ lazy so-and-so’s!

Juvenile Court to Try Shooting Defendant  See if that works any better than a fair trial!

War Dims Hope for Peace  I can see where it might have that effect! 

If Strike Isn’t Settled Quickly, It May Last Awhile  Ya think?! 

Cold Wave Linked to Temperatures  Who would have thought! 

Enfield ( London ) Couple Slain; Police Suspect Homicide  They may be on to something!

Red Tape Holds Up New Bridges  You mean there’s something stronger than duct tape?

Man Struck By Lightning: Faces Battery Charge  He probably IS the battery charge!

New Study of Obesity Looks for Larger Test Group  Weren’t they fat enough?! 

Astronaut Takes Blame for Gas in Spacecraft That’s what he gets for eating those beans!

Kids Make Nutritious Snacks  Do they taste like chicken?

Local High School Dropouts Cut in Half  Chainsaw Massacre all over again!

Hospitals are Sued by 7 Foot Doctors  Boy, are they tall! 

And the winner is…. 

Typhoon Rips Through Cemetery; Hundreds Dead  Did I read that right?