A guy sends a text to his next-door neighbor:    “Bob, I’m sorry. I’ve been riddled with guilt and I have to confess. I have been helping myself to your wife when you’re not around.   I know it’s no excuse but I don’t get it at home. I can’t live with the guilt any longer. I hope you’ll accept my sincerest apology. It won’t happen again.”

Feeling outraged and betrayed, Bob grabs his gun, goes into the bedroom, and without a word, shoots his wife.

Moments later Bob gets a second text: “I really should use spell check! That should be “WiFi”.”

Phone rings, woman answers.  

A pervert, with heavy breathing, says, “I bet you have a tight ass with no hair?”

Woman replies, “Yes I do, he’s watching golf – who shall I say is calling?