Father O’Malley answers the phone. ‘Hello, is this Father O’Malley?’  ‘It is!’  ‘

This is the IRS. Can you help us?’  ‘I can!’      

‘Do you know a Dr. Chalus?’  ‘I do!’

‘Is he a member of your Congregation?’  ‘He probably says he is!’ 

‘Did he donate $10,000 to the church?’  ‘He will.’ 

An elderly man went to his doctor and said, ‘Doc, I think I’m getting senile. Several times lately, I have forgotten to zip up.’

‘That’s not senility,’ replied the doctor. ‘Senility is when you forget to zip down.’