BEAUTY PARLOR – A place where women curl up and dye.

CHICKENS – The only animal you eat before they are born and after they are dead.

COMMITTEE – A body that keeps minutes and wastes hours.

DUST – Mud with the juice squeezed out.

EGOTIST – Someone who is usually me-deep in conversation.

HANDKERCHIEF – Cold Storage.

INFLATION – Cutting money in half without damaging the paper.

MOSQUITO – An insect that makes you like flies better.

POLITICAL CORRECTNESS – A doctrine fostered by a delusional, illogical minority.

SECRET – A story you tell to one person at a time.

SKELETON – A bunch of bones with the person scraped off.

TOOTHACHE – The pain that drives you to extraction.

TOMORROW – One of the greatest labor-saving devices of today.

YAWN – An honest opinion openly expressed.

WRINKLES – Something other people have….similar to my character lines.

OLD – I very quietly confided to my friend that I was having an Affair. She turned to me and asked, “Are you having it catered?”. . . and that, my friend, is the definition of ‘OLD’!!!