The Great Lao-Tzu said
“It is only when you see a mosquito landing on your testicles that you come to realize that you can solve problems without using violence.”

Sex & Calories
They say that during sex you burn off as many calories as running 8 miles.
Who the hell runs 8 miles in 15 seconds?

After my Prostate Exam, the Doctor left.
Then the Nurse came in.
As she shut the door, she whispered the three words no man wants to hear:
“Who was that”?

Quote from John Wayne;
“Life is hard and harder if you are stupid”

Remember:
Humor is like salt, everything goes better with it.

Consistency:
I didn’t make it to the gym today. That makes five years in a row.