Clear understanding
Daughter asks her Dad, “Dad, there is something that my boyfriend said to me that I didn’t understand. He is SOooo into his cars and said “that I have a beautiful chassis, lovely airbags and a fantastic bumper.”

Her Dad said,”You tell your boyfriend that, if he opens your hood and tries to check your oil with his dipstick, I will tighten his lug nuts so hard that his, headlights will pop out and he will start leaking oil out of his exhaust pipe.”

Missing The Point?
A frustrated wife buys a pair of crotchless panties in an attempt to spice up her dead sex-life.  She puts them on, together with a short skirt and sits on the sofa opposite her husband.  At strategic moments she uncrosses her legs …… enough times that her husband finally asks,

“Are you wearing crotchless panties?”

“Y-e-s,” she answers with a seductive smile.

“Thank God – I thought you were sitting on the cat.”