These greens are so fast I have to hold my putter over the ball and hit it with the shadow.~ Sam Snead- I was three over today: One over a house, one over a patio and one over a swimming pool..~ George Brett
- Actually, the only time I ever took out a one-iron was to kill a tarantula. And I took a 7 to do that.~ Jim Murray
- The only sure rule in golf is – he who has the fastest cart never has to play the bad lie.~ Mickey Mantle
- Sex and golf are the two things you can enjoy even if you’re not good at them.~ Kevin Costner
- I don’t fear death, but I sure don’t like those three-footers for par.~ Chi Chi Rodriguez
- After all these years, it’s still embarrassing for me to play on the American golf tour. Like the time I asked my caddie for a sand wedge and he came back ten minutes later with a ham on rye.~ Chi Chi Rodriguez
- The ball retriever is not long enough to get my putter out of the tree.~ Brian Weis
- Swing hard in case you hit it.~ Dan Marino
- My favorite shots are the practice swing and the conceded putt. The rest can never be mastered.~ Lord Robertson
- Give me golf clubs, fresh air and a beautiful partner, and you can keep the clubs and the fresh air.~ Jack Benny
- There is no similarity between golf and putting; they are two different games, one played in the air, and the other on the ground.~ Ben Hogan
- Professional golf is the only sport where, if you win 20% of the time, you’re the best.~ Jack Nicklaus
- The uglier a man’s legs are, the better he plays golf. It’s almost a law.~ H. G. Wells
- I never pray on a golf course. Actually, the Lord answers my prayers everywhere except on the course.~ Billy Graham
- If you watch a game, it’s fun. If you play at it, it’s recreation. If you work at it, it’s golf.~ Bob Hope
- While playing golf today, I hit two good balls. I stepped on a rake.~ Henny Youngman
- If you think it’s hard to meet new people, try picking up the wrong golf ball.~ Jack Lemmon
- You can make a lot of money in this game. Just ask my ex-wives. Both of them are so rich that neither of their husbands work.~ Lee Trevino
- I’m not saying my golf game went bad, but if I grew tomatoes, they’d come up sliced.~ Lee Trevino
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