A little-known fact…….

After digging to a depth of 10 feet last year outside Buffalo, New York, scientists found traces of copper cable dating back 100 years. They came to the conclusion that their ancestors already had a telephone network more than 100 years ago.

Not to be outdone by the New Yorkers, in the weeks that followed, a Los Angeles, California archaeologist dug to a depth of 20 feet somewhere just outside Oceanside. Shortly afterward, a story in the LA Times read, “California archaeologists, reporting a finding of 200 year old copper cable, have concluded that their ancestors already had an advanced high-tech communications network a hundred years earlier than the New Yorkers.

One week later, a local newspaper in Green Bay, Wisconsin reported, “After digging 30 feet deep in his pasture near the community of Sobieski, Wisconsin, Ole Olson, a heck of an engineer and a self-taught archaeologist, reported that he found absolutely nothing. Ole has therefore concluded that 300 years ago, Wisconsin had already gone wireless.

Just makes a person proud to be from Wisconsin!!!

MAKE SURE YOU READ IT TO THE END

VERY FUNNY

My wife was standing in the kitchen, preparing our usual Soft-boiled eggs and toast for breakfast, wearing only The t-shirt that she normally slept in.

As I walked in, almost awake, she turned to me and said softly, “You’ve got to make love to me this very moment!”.

My eyes lit up and I thought, “I am either still dreaming or this is going to be my lucky day!”.

Not wanting to lose the moment, I embraced her and then gave it my all; right there on the kitchen table.

Afterwards she said, “Thanks,” and returned to the stove, Her T-shirt still around her neck.

Happy, but a little puzzled, I asked, “What was that all about?”.

She explained, “The egg timer’s broken.”

A teacher gave her fifth-grade class an assignment:

Get their parents to tell them a story with a moral at the end of it.

The next day, the kids came back and one bone began to tell their stories.

One little girl began,

“My father’s a farmer and we have a lot of egg-laying hens. One time we were taking our eggs to market in a basket on the front seat of the pick-up when we hit a big bump in the road and all the eggs went flying and broke and made a mess.”

“What’s the moral of the story?” asked the teacher.

“Don’t put all your eggs in one basket”

“Very good,” said the teacher.

Another little girl raised her hand and said,

“Our family are farmers too but we raise chickens for the meat market. We had a dozen eggs one time, but when they hatched we only got ten live chicks.”

The moral to this story is, “Don’t count your chickens before they’re hatched.”

“That’s a fine story,” said the teacher.

A little boy at the back of the class is waving his arm wildly.

“Yes, do you have a story to share?” inquired the teacher.

Yes ma’am, my daddy told me this story about my Aunt Maureen;

“Aunt Maureen was a flight engineer in Desert Storm and her plane got hit. She had to bail out over enemy territory and all she had was a bottle of whiskey, a machine gun and a machete. She drank the whiskey on the way down so it wouldn’t break and then she landed right in the middle of 100 enemy troops. She killed seventy of them with the machine gun until she ran out of ammunition. Then she killed twenty more with the machete till the blade broke. And then she killed the last ten with her bare hands.”

“Good heavens,” said the horrified teacher,

“what kind of moral did your daddy tell you from that horrible story?”

“Stay the hell away from Aunt Maureen when she’s been drinking.”

A minister decided that a visual demonstration would add emphasis to his Sunday sermon. 

Four worms were placed into four separate jars. 

The first worm was put into a container of alcohol. 

The second worm was put into a container of cigarette smoke. 

The third worm was put into a container of chocolate syrup. 

The fourth worm was put into a container of good clean soil. 

At the conclusion of the sermon, the Minister reported the following results:

The first worm in alcohol . . . . . . Dead . 

The second worm in cigarette smoke . . . Dead . 

Third worm in chocolate syrup . . .. . Dead.  

Fourth worm in good clean soil . . . Alive … 

So the Minister asked the congregation,  “What did you learn from this demonstration?” 

Maxine was sitting in the back, quickly raised her hand and said . . . “As long as you drink, smoke and eat chocolate, you won’t have worms!” 

That pretty much ended the service!

Today is International Disturbed People’s Day. Please send an encouraging message to a disturbed friend… Just as I’ve done. “Hang in there sunshine, you’re special!”

Ole is a farmer in Minnesota. He needs a new milk cow, and hears about one for sale over in Nordakota. (That would be North Dakota for you non-Scandahoovians out der.)

He drives to Nordakota, finds the farm and looks at the cow.

He reaches under to see if she gives milk. When he grabs the tit and pulls, the cow farts. Ole is surprised

He looks at the farmer selling the cow, then reaches under the cow to try again. He grabs another tit, pulls, and the cow farts again. Milk does come out however, so after some discussion, Ole buys the cow and takes her home.

He gets back to Minnesota, and calls over his neighbor Jimmy Mooney,and says, “Jimmy, come look at dis ere new cow I yust bought. Pull her tit, and see vat happens.”

So Jimmy reaches under, pulls the tit – and the cow farts. Jimmy looks at Ole and sez, “You bought dis here cow in Nordakota, din’tyah?”

Ole is surprised since he hadn’t told Jimmy about his trip. Ole replies, “Yah, dats right. But how’d yah know?”

Jimmy says, “My wife’s from Nordakota.”

Today’s post is defiantly a departure from my normal posts – two reasons; one it is not humor and two the centerpiece is a video. I truly want to thank Keith for bringing this to my attention yesterday and feel it is most fitting for today.

Most will probably recognize the song, Amazing Grace, even though it is sung in Catalan. Catalan is a Romance language like Spanish but is not a subset of Spanish itself. In fact, Catalan as a language is closer to French and Italian than Spanish or Portuguese. In Catalonia, this difference is most notably felt outside Barcelona as Catalan is the main language spoken on a daily basis. The artist is Spanish singer Mónica Naranjo and the setting is the Sacred Family Basilica, in Barcelona Spain. Enjoy and Happy Easter!

“Last year we couldn’t win at home and we were losing on the road. My failure as a coach was that I couldn’t think of anyplace else to play. – Harry Neale, professional hockey coach

“Blind people come to the ballpark just to listen to him pitch.” – Reggie Jackson commenting on Tom Seaver

“I’m working as hard as I can to get my life and my cash to run out at the same time. If I can just die after lunch Tuesday, everything will be perfect.” – Doug Sanders, professional golfer

“All the fat guys watch me and say to their wives, ‘See, there’s a fat guy doing okay. Bring me another beer.'” – Mickey Lolich, Detroit Tigers Pitcher

“When it’s third and ten, you can have the milk drinkers; I’ll take the whiskey drinkers every time.” – Max McGee, Green Bay Packers receiver

“I found out that it’s not good to talk about my troubles. Eighty percent of the people who hear them don’t care and the other twenty percent are glad you’re having them.” – Tommy LaSorda, LA Dodgers manager

“My knees look like they lost a knife fight with a midget.” – E.J. Holub, Kansas City Chiefs linebacker regarding his 12 knee operations

“My theory is that if you buy an ice-cream cone and make it hit your mouth, you can learn to play tennis. If you stick it on your forehead, your chances aren’t as good.” – Vic Braden, tennis instructor

“When they operated, I told them to add in a Koufax fastball. They did but unfortunately it twas Mrs. Koufax’s.” – Tommy John N.Y. Yankees, recalling his 1974 arm surger

“I don’t know. I only played there for nine years.” – Walt Garrison, Dallas Cowboys fullback when asked if Tom Landry ever smiles

“We were tipping off our plays. Whenever we broke from the huddle, three backs were laughing and one was pale as a ghost.” – John Breen, Houston Oilers

“The film looks suspiciously like the game itself.” – Bum Phillips, New Orleans Saints, after viewing a lopsided loss to the Atlanta Falcons

“When I’m on the road, my greatest ambition is to get a standing boo.” – Al Hrabosky, major league relief pitcher

“I have discovered in 20 years of moving around the ball park, that the knowledge of the game is usually in inverse proportion to the price of the seats.” – Bill Veeck, Chicago White Sox owner

“Because if it didn’t work out, I didn’t want to blow the whole day.” – Paul Horning, Green Bay Packers running back on why his marriage ceremony was before noon.

“I have a lifetime contract. That means I can’t be fired during the third quarter if we’re ahead and moving the ball.” – Lou Holtz ,Arkansas football coach

“I won’t know until my barber tells me on Monday.” – Knute Rockne, when asked why Notre Dame had lost a game

“I tell him ‘Attaway to hit, George.'” – Jim Frey, K.C. Royals manager when asked what advice he gives George Brett on hitting

“I learned a long time ago that ‘minor surgery’ is when they do the operation on someone else, not you.” – Bill Walton, Portland Trial Blazers

“Our biggest concern this season will be diaper rash.” – George MacIntyre, Vanderbilt football coach surveying the team roster that included 26 freshmen and 25 sophomores.

“The only difference between me and General Custer is that I have to watch the films on Sunday.” – Rick Venturi, Northwestern football coach