The Washington Post’s Mensa Invitational invited readers to take any word from the  dictionary, alter it by adding, subtracting, or changing one letter, and  supply a new definition.

Here are the  winners: 

1. Cashtration (n.): The act of buying a house,  which renders the subject financially impotent for an  indefinite  period of time.
2. Ignoranus: A person who’s  both stupid and an asshole.
3. Intaxicaton: Euphoria at  getting a tax refund, which lasts until you realize it was your money to  start with.
4. Reintarnation: Coming back  to life as a hillbilly.
5. Bozone (n.): The substance  surrounding stupid people that stops bright ideas from penetrating. The  bozone layer, unfortunately, shows little sign of breaking down in the  near future.
6. Foreploy: Any misrepresentation about  yourself for the purpose of getting laid.
7. Giraffiti: Vandalism spray-painted very, very high.
8. Sarchasm: The  gulf between the author of sarcastic wit and the person who doesn’t get  it.
9. Inoculatte: To take coffee intravenously when you are  running late.
10. Osteopornosis: A degenerate  disease.  – (This one got extra credit.)
11. Karmageddon: It’s like, when everybody is sending off all these really  bad vibes, right? And then, like, the Earth explodes and it’s like, a  serious bummer.
12. Decafalon (n): The grueling event of  getting through the day consuming only things that are good for  you.
13. All talk and no action.
14. Dopeler Effect: The tendency of stupid ideas to seem smarter when they  come at you rapidly.
15. Arachnoleptic Fit (n.): The  frantic dance performed just after you’ve accidentally walked through a  spider web.
16. Beelzebug (n.): Satan in the form of a  mosquito, that gets into your bedroom at three in the morning and  cannot be cast out.
17. Caterpallor (n.): The color you  turn after finding half a worm in the fruit you’re eating.