A young woman recently sent a hilarious tech support message about her “upgrade” from boyfriend to husband, fully expecting a joke. But when she got the reply, it was too good not to share. The love advice from tech support? Absolute genius!

The Query:

Dear Tech Support,

Last year, I upgraded from Boyfriend 5.0 to Husband 1.0 and noticed a major system slowdown—especially in the flower and jewelry apps, which ran flawlessly on Boyfriend 5.0.

Worse still, Husband 1.0 uninstalled key programs like Romance 9.5 and Personal Attention 6.5, and replaced them with NBA 5.0, NFL 3.0, and Golf Clubs 4.1. Conversation 8.0 barely functions anymore, and House Cleaning 2.6 crashes the whole system.

I tried running Nagging 5.3 to troubleshoot, but no luck. Please help!

Signed: Desperate

The Response (that arrived weeks later, out of nowhere):

Dear Desperate,

First, please understand that Boyfriend 5.0 was an Entertainment Package, while Husband 1.0 is an Operating System. Big difference.

Try entering the command: IThoughtYouLovedMe.html and download Tears 6.2. Don’t forget to install the Guilt 3.0 update. If executed properly, Husband 1.0 should automatically run Jewelry 2.0 and Flowers 3.5.

Warning: Overusing Tears can cause Husband 1.0 to default to Grumpy Silence 2.5, Happy Hour 7.0, or worst of all, Beer 6.1. And trust me, Beer 6.1 is dangerous—it’s notorious for downloading Snoring Loudly (Beta).

Whatever you do, DO NOT install Mother-In-Law 1.0—that program runs a hidden virus that will hijack your entire system.

Also, avoid reinstalling Boyfriend 5.0—it’s outdated and incompatible with Husband 1.0, leading to a complete system crash.

In conclusion, Husband 1.0 is a solid program, but it has limited memory and struggles with new tasks. You may want to invest in Cooking 3.0 to boost performance.

Good luck! Tech Support 😆