After stepping out of the shower, I stood in front of the mirror, expressing to my husband how unhappy I was with how small my breasts were. Instead of denying it like he usually does, he surprised me with a suggestion.

“If you want them to grow, take a piece of toilet paper and rub it between your breasts for a few seconds every day,” he said.

Intrigued and willing to try anything, I grabbed a piece of toilet paper and started rubbing it as he suggested. “How long will it take?” I asked.

“It might take years,” he replied with a straight face.

Pausing for a moment, I questioned him, “Do you really believe rubbing toilet paper on my chest every day will make them grow bigger?”

Without missing a beat, he smirked and said, “Well, it worked for your butt, didn’t it?”

Let’s just say he’s still alive… barely. With some physical therapy, he might even walk again. Stupid, stupid man.