Two 90-year old guys, Leo and Frank, had been friends all of their lives. When it was clear that Leo was dying, Frank visited him every day. One day Frank said’ Leo, we both loved playing baseball all our lives, and we played all through High School. Please do me one favor: when you get to Heaven, somehow you must let me know if there’s baseball there.’
Leo looked up at Frank from his deathbed and said, ‘Frank you’ve been my best friend for many years. If it’s at all possible, I’ll do this favor for you.’
Shortly after that, Leo passed on. A few nights later, Frank was awakened from a sound sleep by a blinding flash of white light and a voice calling out to him, Frank… Frank ‘……’Who is it?’ asked Frank sitting up suddenly. ‘Who is it?’
‘Leo– it’s me, Leo’.
‘You’re not Leo, Leo just died.’
‘I’m telling you, it’s me, Leo’ insisted the voice.
‘Leo! Where are you?’
‘In Heaven,’ replied Leo. ‘I have some really good news and a little bad news.’
‘Tell me the good news first,’ said Frank.
‘The good news,’ Leo said, ‘is that there’s baseball in Heaven. Better yet all of our old buddies who died before us are here, too. Better than that, we’re all young again Better still, it’s always springtime, and it never rains or snows. And best of all, we can play baseball all we want, and we never get tired.’
‘That’s fantastic,’ said Frank ‘It’s beyond my wildest dreams! So what’s the bad news?
You’re pitching Tuesday.’
One evening, after the honeymoon, Bob was working on his Harley motorcycle in the garage. His new wife was standing there by the bench watching him.
Thinking back a few years, vacationing in Florida, I remember Hurricane Matthew. I was ready for it but my wife was not. When the wind reached a screaming pitch with the trees snapping and threshing, the horizontal streaming rain, flying roofing and destroyed fences as well as the unnerving sound-levels, my wife was rooted to the spot.
A little old lady was walking down the street dragging two large plastic garbage bags behind her. One of the bags was ripped and every once in a while a $20 fell out onto the sidewalk. Noticing this, a policeman stopped her, and said, “Ma’am, there are $20 bills falling out of that bag.” 
WINDOWS:
This is a detective story, so, Pay Close Attention!
A golfer is in a competitive match with a friend, who is ahead by a couple of strokes.”Boy, I’d give anything to sink this putt”, the golfer mumbles to himself.
As the golfer is walking to the club house, the stranger walks along beside him and says,” I haven’t really been fair with you because you don’t know who I am. I’m Satan, and from this day forward you really will have no sex life at all.”
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