A woman from New York was driving through a remote part of Arizona when her car broke down. An American Indian on horseback came along and offered her a ride to a nearby town.

She climbed up behind him on the horse and they rode off. The ride was uneventful, except that every few minutes the Indian would let out a Ye-e-e-e-h-a-a-a-a!’ so loud that it echoed from the surrounding hills and canyon walls.

When they arrived in town, he let her off at the local service station, yelled one final ‘Ye-e-e-e-h-a-a-a-a!’ and rode off.

“What did you do to get that Indian so excited?” asked the service-station attendant. “Nothing,” the woman answered “I merely sat behind him on the horse, put my arms around his waist, and held onto the saddle horn so I wouldn’t fall off.”

“Lady,” the attendant said, “Indians don’t use saddles.

An Arizona Highway Patrol officer stops a Harley rider for traveling faster than the posted speed limit:

He asks the old biker his name.

“Fred.” He replies.

“Fred what?” The officer asks.

“Just Fred.” The old man responds.

The officer is in a good mood, thinks he might just give the old biker a break and write him out a warning instead of a ticket.

The officer then presses him for the last name.

The old man tells him that he used to have a last name, but lost it.

The officer thinks that he has a nut case on his hands but plays along with it.

“Tell me, Fred, how did you lose your last name?’

The old biker replies.

“It’s a long story, so stay with me. I was born Fred Johnson. I studied hard and got good grades. When I got older, I realized that I wanted to be a doctor. I went through college, medical school, internship, and residency, and finally got my degree, so I was Fred Johnson, MD.

After a while, I got bored being a doctor, so I decided to go back to school. Dentistry was my dream! I got all the way through school, got my degree, so then I was Fred Johnson, MD, DDS. I got bored doing dentistry, so I started fooling around with my assistant and she gave me VD, so now I was Fred Johnson, MD, DDS, with VD.

Well, the ADA found out about the VD, so they took away my DDS. Then I was Fred Johnson, MD, with VD. Then the AMA found out about the ADA taking away my DDS because of the VD, so they took away my MD leaving me as Fred Johnson with VD.

Then the VD took away my Johnson, so now I am Just Fred.”

The officer walked away in tears, laughing

Curtis & Leroy bought a mule for $100. The farmer agreed to deliver the mule the next day. The next morning the farmer drove up and said, “Sorry, fellows, I have some bad news, the mule died last night.”

Curtis & Leroy replied,”Well, then just give us our money back.” The farmer said,”Can’t do that. I went and spent it already.” They said, “OK then, just bring us the dead mule.” The farmer asked, “What in the world ya’ll gonna do with a dead mule?” Curtis said, “We gonna raffle him off.”

The farmer said, “You can’t raffle off a dead mule!” Leroy said, “We shore can! We don’t hafta tell nobody he’s dead!” A couple of weeks later, the farmer ran into Curtis & Leroy at the Piggly Wiggly grocery store and asked. “What’d you fellers ever do with that dead mule?”

They said,”We raffled him off like we said we wuz gonna do.” Leroy said,”We sold 500 tickets fer two dollars apiece and made a profit of $898.” The farmer said, “Didn’t anyone complain?” Curtis said, “Well, the feller who won got upset. So we gave him his two dollars back.”

Curtis and Leroy now work for the government. They’re overseeing the Bailout & Stimulus Programs.

I can remember what is dipicted in both pictures.

Wished it were not so true!

Grounds for Divorce;

A judge was interviewing a woman regarding her pending divorce, and asked,

“What are the grounds for your divorce?”

She replied, “About four acres and a nice little home in the middle of the property with a stream running by.”

“No,” he said, “I mean what is the foundation of this case?”

“It is made of concrete, brick and mortar,” she responded.

“I mean,” he continued, “What are your relations like?”

“I have an aunt and uncle living here in town, and so do my husband’s parents.”

He said, “Do you have a real grudge?”

“No,” she replied, “We have a two-car carport and have never really needed one.”

“Please,” he tried again, “is there any infidelity in your marriage?”

“Yes, both my son and daughter have stereo sets. We don’t necessarily like the music, but the answer to your questions is yes.”

“Ma’am, does your husband ever beat you up?”

“Yes,” she responded, “about twice a week he gets up earlier than I do.”

Finally, in frustration, the judge asked, “Lady, why do you want a divorce?”

“Oh, I don’t want a divorce,” she replied. “I’ve never wanted a divorce.

My husband does. He said he can’t communicate with me.”