The most famous artist of this type of saucy seaside postcard was Donald McGill, who when he was nearly 80 was put on trial under the Obscene Publications Act and found guilty and fined. Today they are one of the most collected items of memorabilia and worth a fortune.
Named in honor of Charles Darwin, the father of evolution, the Darwin Awards commemorate those who improve our gene pool by removing themselves from it.
(18 February 2014, United Kingdom) Scott McKimmie’s purple Volkswagen Cabriolet would not be considered roadworthy by most people, but to a handy mechanic a flaw can be considered a security feature. Early on Tuesday morning outside The Phoenix pub in Corby, the 39-year-old started the 1998 Cabriolet in his usual unusual way — he put the car in gear and reached beneath the hood (the ‘bonnet’) and touched two wires together to create an ignition spark.Unfortunately Scott failed to remember that he had not set the handbrake. To make matters worse he had modified the purple VW to run with a fast idle to prevent stalling. As black wire touched red wire the engine turned over and started, and the car lurched forward and knocked him over. Due to the fast idle the vehicle continued on its merry way, inflicting 36 “separate injuries” on the unfortunate man as — like the Duracell/Energizer bunny — it kept going and going. As demonstrated in a police investigation video shown to the court, the engine modifications allowed the car to move forward without stalling when it was in first, second or third gear! Coroner Anne Pember recorded a verdict of accidental death with this summary: “It is quite clear that the cause of this tragedy was the unusual starting method Mr. McKimmie used to start his car.” |
This is a story of self control and marksmanship. A woman survived a grizzly bear attack with one well placed shot from her itsy bitsy .25 caliber Beretta Jetfire.
These are her own words:
“While out hiking in Alberta Canada with my boyfriend, we were surprised when a huge grizzly bear came charging at us out of nowhere. She must have been protecting her cubs because she was extremely aggressive. If I had not had my little Beretta Jetfire I would not be here today! I yanked it out of my purse and fired one shot. It hit my boyfriend in his kneecap and the bear caught him easily. While the grizzly mauled the poor cripple, I was able to escape by just walking away at a brisk pace. I love that pistol. I’ll find other boyfriends.”
Yogi Berra was well known for his many quips on baseball. Some of these football quotes would rank right up there with those of Yogi.
Enjoy the day!
“Gentlemen, it is better to have died a small boy than to fumble the football.” -John Heisman
“I make my practices real hard because if a player is a quitter, I want him to quit in practice, not in a game.” – Bear Bryant / Alabama
“It isn’t necessary to see a good tackle, you can hear it!” – Knute Rockne / Notre Dame
“At Georgia Southern, we don’t cheat. That costs money, and we don’t have any.” – Erk Russell / Georgia Southern
“After you retire, there’s only one big event left, and I ain’t ready for that.” – Bobby Bowden / Florida State
“The man who complains about the way the ball bounces is likely to be the one who dropped it.” – Lou Holtz / Arkansas – Norte Dame
“When you win, nothing hurts.” – Joe Namath / Alabama
“Motivation is simple. You eliminate those who are not motivated.” – Lou Holtz / Arkansas – Notre Dame
“A school without football is in danger of deteriorating into a medieval study hall.” – Frank Leahy / Notre Dame
There’s nothing that cleanses your soul like getting the hell kicked out of you.” -Woody Hayes / Ohio State
“I don’t expect to win enough games to be put on NCAA probation. I just want to win enough to warrant an investigation.” -Bob Devaney / Nebraska
“In Alabama, an atheist is someone who doesn’t believe in Bear Bryant.” -Wally Butts / Georgia
“I never graduated from Iowa. But I was only there for two terms Truman’s and Eisenhower’s.” – Alex Karras / Iowa
“My advice to defensive players is to take the shortest route to the ball, and arrive in a bad humor.” – Bowden Wyatt / Tennessee
“I could have been a Rhodes Scholar except for my grades.” – Duffy Daugherty / Michigan State
“Always remember Goliath was a 40 point favorite over David.” – Shug Jordan / Auburn
“They cut us up like boarding house pie, and that’s real small pieces.” -Darrell Royal / Texas
“They whipped us like a tied up goat.” -Spike Dykes / Texas Tech
“I asked Darrell Royal, the coach of the Texas Longhorns, why he didn’t recruit me. “He said, “Well, Walt, we took a look at you, and you weren’t any good.” – Walt Garrison / Oklahoma State
“Son, you’ve got a good engine, but your hands aren’t on the steering wheel.” – Bobby Bowden / Florida State
“Football is NOT a contact sport, it is a collision sport. Dancing IS a contact sport.” – Duffy Daugherty / Michigan State
USC lost 51-0 to Notre Dame, his post-game message to his team was, “All those who need showers, take them.” – John McKay / USC
“If lessons are learned in defeat, our team is getting a great education.” – Murray Warmath / Minnesota
“The only qualifications for a lineman are to be big and dumb. To be a back, you only have to be dumb.” – Knute Rockne / Notre Dame
“Oh, we played about like three tons of buzzard puke this afternoon.” – Spike Dykes / Texas Tech
“We didn’t tackle well today, but we made up for it by not blocking.” -John McKay
If you can start the day without caffeine,
If you can always be cheerful, ignoring aches and pains,
If you can resist complaining and boring people with your troubles,
If you can eat the same food every day and be grateful for it.
If you can understand when your loved ones are too busy to give you any time,
If you can take criticism and blame without resentment,
If you can conquer tension without medical help,
If you can relax without alcohol,
If you can sleep without the aid of drugs.
Then You Are Probably
The Family Dog!
And you thought I was going to get all spiritual ….
Handle every Stressful situation like a dog.
If you can’t eat it or play with it,
Pee on it and walk away
Can you meet this challenge?
We’ve seen this with the letters out of order, but this is the first time we’ve seen it with numbers. Good example of a Brain Study: If you can read this OUT LOUD you have a strong mind. And better than that: Alzheimer’s is a long long, way down the road before it ever gets anywhere near you.
7H15 M3554G3
53RV35 7O PR0V3
H0W 0UR M1ND5 C4N
D0 4M4Z1NG 7H1NG5!
1MPR3551V3 7H1NG5!
1N 7H3 B3G1NN1NG
17 WA5 H4RD BU7
N0W, 0N 7H15 LIN3
Y0UR M1ND 1S
R34D1NG 17 4U70M471C4LLY
W17H0U7 3V3N
7H1NK1NG 4B0U7 17,
B3 PROUD! 0NLY
C3R741N P30PL3 C4N
R3AD 7H15!
PL3453 F0RW4RD 1F
U C4N R34D 7H15.
To my ‘selected’ strange-minded friends: If you can read the following paragraph, forward it on to your friends with ‘yes’ in the subject line. Only great minds can read this. This is weird, but interesting!
If you can raed this, you have a sgtrane mnid, too.
Can you raed this? Olny 55 people out of 100 can.
I cdnuolt blveiee that I cluod aulaclty uesdnatnrd what I was rdanieg. The phaonmneal pweor of the hmuan mnid, aoccdrnig to a rscheearch at Cmabrigde Uinervtisy, it dseno’t mtaetr in what oerdr the ltteres in a word are, the olny iproamtnt tihng is that the frsit and last ltteer be in the rghit pclae. The rset can be a taotl mses and you can still raed it whotuit a pboerlm. This is bcuseae the huamn mnid deos not raed ervey lteter by istlef, but the word as a wlohe. Azanmig huh? Yaeh and I awlyas tghuhot slpeling was ipmorantt! If you can raed this forwrad it.
FORWARD ONLY IF YOU CAN READ IT..
A 6 year old and a 4 year old are raking the yard. The 6 year old asks, “You know what? I think it’s about time we started learning to cuss.” The 4 year old nods his head in approval.
The 6 year old continues, “When we going for breakfast, I’m gonna say something with hell and you say something with ass.” The 4 year old agrees with enthusiasm.
When the mother walks into the kitchen and asks the 6 year old what he wants for breakfast, he replies: “Aw, hell, Mom, I guess I’ll have some Cheerios.” WHACK! He flies out of his chair, tumbles across the kitchen floor, gets up, and runs upstairs crying his eyes out, with his mother in hot pursuit, slapping his rear with every step. His mom locks him in his room and shouts: “You can stay there until I let you out!”
She then comes back downstairs, looks at the 4 year old and asks with a stern voice:”And what do YOU want for breakfast, young man?”
“I don’t know,” he blubbers, “but you can bet your ass it won’t be Cheerios!”
And the beat goes on. I received another “Court-Approved Notice” of a class action lawsuit. As is typical, if all shares filed a claim the average distribution per common share is projected at $0.25 less projected attorney fees and cost of $0.08 per share. WOW a net of $0.17. Yet the attorneys are requesting 30% of the $48,000,000 settlement fund or $14,400,000 for their efforts. Let me see $14,400,00 vs. $0.17; who is the winner? Following is the text of a post I wrote on March 15, 2012 and as we can see not much has changed.
How Long Are We Going to Stand For Class Action Lawsuits That Do Nothing But Enrich Attorneys?
This week I received another notice of a class action suit that ostensibly I am a part of. Like all of the rest I have seen, it is written in generally incomprehensible language and places demands on those participating in the class to prove they belong. This particular one involves Lehman Brothers and includes two parts – one for those that purchased Lehman securities and notes ($90,000,000) and the other for underwriters ($426,218,000). The period covered is from June 12, 2007 and September 15, 2008 and off course they demand a withering level of detail to support any claim. As luck would have it, since that time frame I have switched financial advisors and no longer have on-line access to the account where these securities were held. Having said that, they obviously have solid evidence that I did own covered securities in that account as the information in the address label is the exactly the same as the account title and contains more information than just my name and address. Given that, one wonders why I have to provide the transaction detail as they probably know more than I do. It would seem that agreeing to the terms of the settlement would be enough. However, when one understands that any unclaimed amounts goes back into the pool and is divided among those that do file claims and guess which group is most likely to have complete access to level of detail required? Probably not us smaller players.
A few years ago there was a class action suit against State Farm over life insurance policies. In that action the law firms received something like $5,000,000 and the members of the class received the right to buy more insurance. No kidding. There is a continuing parade of actions like this and in most cases the only winners are the law firms.
Now let’s talk about the attorney’s fees in the Lehman case. As proposed the attorneys will receive something over $90,000,000 in fees plus $2,500,000 in expenses. Even is the average hourly billing rate for those on the project is $250, which is probably high, these fees would equate to over 361,000 billable hours! By the way, that is 174 man years. Now we begin to see the attraction of class action suits for law firms.
Here is the text of a letter I wrote some time ago to the Court handling a class action law suit; On Friday, August 29, 2008 I received an e-mail titled NOTICE OF CLASS ACTION CONCERNING NORTON SUBSCRIPTIONS. As I have reviewed the document a number of both questions and concerns occurred to me. First, I am always amazed that in any other legal proceeding, the client is required to sign a document selecting the attorney that represents them. In this action I neither signed any such document nor in any way requested that the listed attorneys represent me. Now I understand that obtaining letters of representation from all members of a class would be burdensome but many things in the civil legal process are deemed necessary even though they are burdensome. Second, in any other proceeding, the attorney is required to state how they will be compensated – hourly, contingent fee or some combination thereof. In this proceeding there is the following statement regarding attorney compensation; If plaintiffs prevail in this lawsuit, attorneys’ fees and costs will be deducted from the recovery on behalf of the class or will be paid by Symantec. In either case, the court must approve the amount paid to the attorneys. You are not personally responsible for paying any of the attorneys representing the class. Nowhere in that statement is there any indication as to what type of compensation the attorneys will be requesting. Also, while members of the class will not be responsible for paying the attorneys directly, the amount that might be received will certainly be impacted negatively by the attorney’s fees.
I find it interesting that five different attorneys from five different firms are representing the class. Two of which are California attorneys, two which are admitted to California Pro Hac Vice and one, from New York not even admitted Pro Hac Vice. Seems like a little overkill and at the very least guaranteed to run up the legal bills.
I would like to know how, and under what authority, those filing this action acquired my e-mail address. I also find it most interesting that while I received notice of this class action via e-mail, if I want to opt out of the class I must send notice to a Minneapolis, MN address via regular mail. This begs the question as to what other entities might be involved in this action and why such notice would not be sent either to the court or the attorneys representing the class.
Class action law suits like this rarely generate any substantive benefit to the members of the class. I remember one from a few years ago involving State Farm Life Insurance where the members of the class received the option to purchase more insurance and the attorneys walked away with over $5 million.
Here is the text of the Judge’s response to my letter; I have received and reviewed your letter of September 2, 2008 and appreciate your comments regarding class actions. Your comments mirror remarks I often hear or read about class action suits. You seem to believe that class actions are very beneficial to the attorneys who are successful, but not to members of the class. Quite frankly, this opinion is shared by others.
As a judge who potentially could hear these cases, I can make no comment on this issue, but understand your feelings.
Given the amount of money the trial lawyers contribute to legislative candidates it is probably unlikely that we will see substantive change any time soon but maybe, just maybe, if we talk about it enough someone will notice.
Advice
Blind Date
DEAR DIARY – DAY 1
All packed for the cruise ship — all my nicest dresses, swimsuits, short sets. Really, really exciting. Our local Red Hat chapter – The Late Bloomers decided on this “all-girls” trip. It will be my first one – and I can’t wait!
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DEAR DIARY – DAY 2
Entire day at sea, beautiful. Saw whales and dolphins. Met the Captain today — seems like a very nice man.
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DEAR DIARY – DAY 3
At the pool today. Did some shuffleboard, hit golf balls off the deck. The Captain invited me to join him at his table for dinner. Felt honored and had a wonderful time. He is very attractive and attentive.
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DEAR DIARY – DAY 4
Won $800.00 in the ship’s casino. The Captain asked me to have dinner with him in his own cabin. Had a scrumptious meal complete with caviar and champagne. He asked me to stay the night, but I declined. Told him I could not be unfaithful to my husband.
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DEAR DIARY – DAY 5
Pool again today. Got sunburned, and I went inside to drink at piano-bar, stayed there for rest of day. The Captain saw me, bought me several large drinks. Really is quite charming. Again asked me to visit his cabin for the night. Again I declined. He told me, if I did not let him have his way with me, he would sink the ship… I was shocked.
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DEAR DIARY – DAY 6
Today I saved 2600 lives.
Twice
Loren Berg's Blog 