1. Alabama
Named after the Alibamu tribe of Indians who were members of the Creek Confederacy. Literally, it means “clears the thicket.”

2. Alaska
From the word “Alakshak’ which means peninsula.

3. Arizona
This one’s uncertain but may derive from a word meaning “small springs.”

4. Connecticut
From the expression “quinnitukg-ut” which means “at the long tidal river.”

5. Hawaii
From the words “Havaiki” or “Hawaiki,” which was the legendary name of the original Polynesian homeland.

6. Idaho
Derived from one of three sources and meaning one of three things:
Comanche “Idahi”, Shoshone “ee-dah-how” which means something like “Good Morning” Salmon River Tribe of Indians “Ida” means salmon and “ho” means tribe so we might be saying “Salmon eaters”.

7. Illinois
From “ilhiniwek” or “illiniwek”. “Illini” meant “man” and “iwek” makes the word plural, so, literally, “men.”

8. Iowa
Named after the Ioway Indians.

9. Kansas
Named after the Kansa Indians.

10. Kentucky
Means one of three things: meadow lands, cane and turkey lands, or dark and bloody ground.

11. Massachusetts
An Indian word meaning “about the big hill.”

12. Michigan
From the Chippewa Indian word “Michigama” meaning “large lake.”

13. Minnesota
From the Dakota Indian word “Minisota” meaning “white water.”

14. Mississippi
From the Choctaw word meaning “Great water” or “Father of Waters.”

15. Missouri
“Town of the large canoes.”

16. Nebraska
From the Oto Indian word meaning “flat water.”

17. New Mexico
Named after Mexico, of course. Means “place of the Mexica.” One source says that it’s derived from the name “Mertili” who was an Aztec god.

18. Ohio
From the Iroquois word meaning “beautiful.”

19. Oklahoma
From the Chocraw word meaning “red people.”

20 and 21. South and North Dakota
This used to all simply be called the Dakota Territory. The Indian word “Dahkota” means “friends” or “allies”.

22. Tennessee
From the Cherokee “Tanasi” which was a village. The word means one of three things: “meeting place”, “winding river”, or “river of the great bend”.

23. Texas
A Caddo Indian word meaning “allies.”

24. Utah
Derived from the Ute Indian word “Yuta” meaning “people who live high in the mountains.”

25. Wisconsin
From the word “Wishkonsing” meaning “place of the beaver.”

26. Wyoming
“On the Great Plain.” Thought Catalog Logo Mark

This is a conversation between a man and a woman.  Please note that she asks seven questions which he answered quite simply, and she is speechless after answering only two questions. 

Woman:   Do you play golf ? 
Man:   Yes

Woman: How many times a week?  
Man:  Usually about 3. 

Woman: How much do you pay per round? 
Man: Usually about $35 which includes lunch. (This is where it gets scary !) 

Woman:  And how long have you been playing? 
Man: About 20 years, I suppose 

Woman:  So a round  costs $35 and you have 3 rounds a week which puts your spending each month at about $450. In one year, it would be approximately $5400 correct? 
Man: Correct 

Woman: If in 1 year you spend $5400, not accounting for inflation, the past 20 years puts your spending at about  $108,000 correct? 
Man: Seems about right. 

Woman:  Do you know that if you didn’t play so much golf, that money could have been put in an interest savings account and after accounting for compound interest for the past 20 years, you could buy a new Ferrari? 

Man: Do you play golf? 
Woman:  No. 

Man:  Where’s your Ferrari?

1. You must first learn to pronounce the city name, it is: FEE-NICKS’. There are other names to learn such as Awatukee (Ah-wa-Too-Kee) but that will be included in the advanced course. 

2. The morning rush hour is from 5:00 am to noon. The evening rush hour is from noon to 7:00 pm. Friday’s rush hour starts on Thursday morning. 

3. The minimum acceptable speed on most freeways is 85 mph. On Loop 101, your speed is expected to at least match the highway number. Anything less is considered ‘Wussy’. 

4. Forget the traffic rules you learned elsewhere. Phoenix has its own version of traffic rules. For example, cars/trucks with the loudest muffler go first at a four-way stop; the trucks with the biggest tires go second. However, East Valley, SUV-driving, cell phone-talking moms ALWAYS have the right of way. 

5. If you actually stop at a yellow light, you will be rear ended, cussed out, and possibly shot. 

6. Never honk at anyone. Ever. Seriously. It’s another offense that can get you shot. 

7. Road construction is permanent and continuous in Phoenix. Detour barrels are moved around for your entertainment pleasure during the middle of the night to make the next day’s driving a bit more exciting. 

8. Watch carefully for road hazards such as drunks, skunks, dogs, barrels, cones, cows, horses, cats, mattresses, shredded tires, squirrels, rabbits, crows, vultures, javelinas, roadrunners, and the coyotes feeding on any of these items. 

9. Maricopa Freeway, Papago Freeway and the ‘I-10’ are the same road. SR202 is the same road as The Red Mountain FWY. Dunlap and Olive are the same street too. Jefferson becomes Washington, but they are not the same street. SR 101 is also the Pima FWY except west of I-17, which is also The Black Canyon FWY, and The Veterans Memorial HWY. Lastly, Thunderbird Rd. becomes Cactus Rd. but, Cactus Rd. doesn’t become Thunderbird Rd. because it dead ends at a mountain. 

10. If someone actually has their turn signal on, wave them to the shoulder immediately to let them know it has been ‘accidentally activated. 

11. If you are in the left lane and only driving 70 in a 55-65 mph zone, you are considered a road hazard and will be ‘flipped off’ accordingly. If you return the flip, you’ll be shot. 

12. For summer driving, it is advisable to wear potholders on your hands.

Recently, in a large city in France, a poster featuring a young, thin, and tan woman appeared in the window of a gym.It read: “This summer, do you want to be a mermaid or a whale?”?

A middle-aged woman, whose physical characteristics did not match those of the woman pictured on the poster, responded publicly to the question posed by the gym. She had a whale of a lot to say:

“To Whom It May Concern,?

Whales are always surrounded by friends: dolphins, sea lions, and curious humans. They have an active sex life, get pregnant, and have adorable baby whales. They enjoy stuffing themselves with shrimp, playing and swimming in the sea, and visiting wonderful places like Patagonia, the Bering Sea, and the coral reefs of Polynesia.

Whales are wonderful singers and have even recorded CDs. ?They are incredible creatures and virtually have no predators other than humans.They are loved, protected, and admired by almost everyone in the world.?

Mermaids don’t exist.If they did exist, they would be lining up outside the offices of psychoanalysts due to their identity crisis. Fish or human would prove quite a quandary for even the most skilled of therapists.

They don’t have a sex life because they kill men who get close to them, not to mention how could they have sex? Just look at them … where is IT? Therefore, they don’t have kids either. Not to mention, who wants to get close to a girl who smells like a fish store??

P.S. We are in an age when the media attempts to convince us that only skinny people are beautiful. I prefer to enjoy ice cream with my kids, a good dinner with a man who makes me shiver, and good chocolate with my friends. With time, we gain weight because we accumulate so much information and wisdom in our heads that when there is no more room, it distributes out to the rest of our bodies. So we aren’t heavy, we are enormously cultured, educated, and happy.?