Ms. Sally Mulligan of Coral Springs , Florida, read it, and decided to apply for one of the jobs that most Americans are not willing to do.
 
She submitted her application for a job in a Florida lemon grove,
but seemed far too qualified for the job.
 
She has a liberal arts degree from the University of Michigan, and a master’s degree from Michigan State University. For a number of years, she had worked as a social worker, and also as a school teacher.
 
The foreman studied her application, frowned and said, “I see that you are well educated, and have an impressive resume. However, I have to ask you, have you had any actual experience in picking lemons?”
 
“Well, as a matter of fact, I have,” she said…”I’ve been divorced three times, owned two Chryslers, and voted for Biden.”
 
She started work yesterday

 

 

A man on a bicycle is stopped at the US-Mexico border by Border Patrol. The border agent asks what is in the backpack he’s wearing. “Uh, sand”, the bicyclist responds. The agent asks to look inside and sure enough it appears to be full of sand. “Dump it out” the agent insists. So, he dumps out the contents of the backpack on the road and the agent searches through the sand looking for contraband. Finding nothing but sand, he allows the biker to pass into Mexico.

The next day the biker comes to the border again. The same agent asks about the backpack. “It’s just sand”, says the biker. The agent, who refuses to be fooled, tells him to dump it out. Again, he searches through the sand finding nothing.

“Sir, you’re going to dump the sand every single day. I’m not letting you through without checking. I don’t care how many times you come here; you’re dumping the sand every single time”.

“No problem” says the biker.

Sure enough, they go through this ritual day after day, month after month, year after year. Until one day, the biker stops coming.

One day after work, the agent sees the biker at a bar. “I know you”, says the agent.” You’re the guy who brought sand across the border every day”.

“Yep. That’s me” says the biker.

“You gotta tell me, buddy, why did you bring sand across the border every day”?

“Sand? the biker replies. “I was selling stolen bicycles!”

 

A blonde driving a car became lost in a snowstorm. She didn’t panic however, because she remembered what her dad had once told her. “If you ever get stuck in a snowstorm, just wait for a snow plow to come by and follow it.” Sure enough, pretty soon a snow plow came by, and she started to follow it. She followed the plow for about forty-five minutes. Finally the driver of the truck got out and asked her what she was doing. And she explained that her dad had told her if she ever got stuck in a snow storm, to follow a plow. The driver nodded and said, “Well, I’m done with the Wal-Mart parking lot, do you want to follow me over to Best Buy now?”

• Golf balls are like eggs – they’re white, they’re sold by the dozen, and a week later you have to buy more.
• The pro-shop gets its name from the fact that you must have the income of a professional golfer to buy anything in there.
• It’s amazing how a golfer who never helps with house or yard work will replace his divots, repair his ball marks, and rake his sand traps. – Did you ever notice that it’s a lot easier to get up at 6:00 a.m. to play golf than at 10:00 to go to church?
• It takes longer to become good at golf than it does brain surgery. On the other hand, you seldom get to ride around in a cart, drink beer and eat hot dogs while performing brain surgery.
• A good drive on the 18th hole has stopped many a golfer from giving up the game.
• A good golf partner is one who’s slightly worse than you.
• The rake is always in the other trap.
• If there’s a storm rolling in, you’ll be having the game of your life.
• If your opponent has trouble remembering whether he shot a six or a seven, he probably shot an eight.
• Golf appeals to the child in all of us. This is proven by our frequent inability to count past the number 5.
• It’s easy to keep your ball in the fairway if you don’t care which fairway.
• If profanity had any influence on the flight of a ball, most everyone would play better.
• The greatest sound in golf is the “Whoosh, Whoosh, Whoosh” of your opponent’s club as he hurls it across the fairway.
• A recent survey shows that of all jobs, caddies live the longest. They get plenty of fresh air and exercise, and if there’s ever a medical emergency, a doctor is always nearby.
• It’s difficult to decide which is more stressful – hitting 3 off the tee or lining up your 4th putt
• With practice and strength training you can easily get more distance off the shank.
• The only sure way to get a par is to leave a 4-foot birdie putt 2 inches from the hole.
• Nothing straightens out a nasty slice like a sharp dogleg to the right.
• Golden Rule: Never wash your ball on the tee of a water hole.
• No matter how badly you are playing, it’s always possible to get worse.