GOOD HISTORY LESSON – ONLY NO ONE IS LISTENING!! 

Know what happened 173 years ago this summer? 

September 9, 1850…California became a state! The people had no electricity, the state had no money and almost everyone spoke Spanish. There were gunfights in the streets.

 So basically, NOTHING has changed except back then the women had real tits and the men didn’t hold hands.

And that, my friends, is your history lesson for today.

A woman goes into the Bass Pro Shop to buy a rod and reel for her grandson’s birthday. She doesn’t know which one to get so she just grabs one and goes over to the counter. A Bass Pro Shop associate is standing there wearing dark shades. She said, “Excuse me, sir. Can you tell me anything about this rod and reel?” He said, “Ma’am, I’m completely blind, but if you’ll drop it on the counter, I can tell you everything from the sound it makes.” She doesn’t believe him but drops it on the counter anyway. He said, “That’s a six-foot Shakespeare graphite rod with a Zebco 404 reel and 10-LB. test line. It’s a good all-around combination and it’s on sale this week for only $20.00.” She said, “that’s amazing! You can tell all that just by the sound of it dropping on the counter? I’ll take it!” As she opens her purse, her credit card drops on the floor. “Oh that sounds like a Mastercard.” He notes. She bends down to pick it up and accidentally toots. At first she is really embarrassed, but then realizes there is no way the blind clerk could tell it was she who tooted. Being blind, he wouldn’t know that she was the only person around. The man rings up the sale and said, “That’ll be $34.50 please.” The woman is totally confused by this and asked, “Didn’t you tell me the rod and reel were on sale for $20.00? How did you get $34.50?” He replied, “Yes, Ma’am. The rod and reel are $20.00, but the Duck Call is $11.00 and the Bear Repellent is $3.50.” She paid the bill…

During a visit to my doctor, I asked him, “How do you determine whether or not an older person should be put in a care home?”

“Well,” he said, “we fill up a bathtub, then we offer a teaspoon, a teacup, and a bucket to the person and ask them to empty the bathtub,”

“Oh, I understand, “I said. ” A normal person would use the bucket because it’s bigger than the spoon or the teacup.”

“No,” he said.  “A normal person would pull the plug.  Do you prefer a bed near the window?”

(ARE YOU GOING TO PASS THIS ON – or do you want the bed next to mine?)