A man walked into the lady’s department of a Macy ‘s and shyly walked up to the woman behind the counter and said, “I’d like to buy a bra for my wife. ” ” What type of bra?” asked the clerk.

” Type?” inquires the man, “There’s more than one type?”

” Look around,” said the saleslady, as she showed a sea of bras in every shape, size, color and material imaginable.

“Actually, even with all of this variety, there are really only four types of bras to choose from.”

Relieved, the man asked about the types. The saleslady replied:

• There are the Catholic,
• The Salvation Army,
• The Presbyterian,
• And the Baptist types.

Which one would you prefer?”

Now totally befuddled, the man asked about the differences between them. The Saleslady responded, “It is all really quite simple. …

• The Catholic type supports the masses;
• The Salvation Army type lifts the fallen;
• The Presbyterian type keeps them staunch and upright; and
• The Baptist type makes mountains out of mole hills.”

Have you ever wondered why A, B, C, D, DD, E, F, G, and H are the letters used to define bra sizes? If you have wondered why, but couldn’t figure out what the letters stood for, it is about time you became informed!

• (A} Almost Boobs…
• {B} Barely there…
• {C} Can’t Complain!…
• (D} Dang!…
• {DD} Double dang!…
• (E} Enormous!…
• {F} Fake…
• {G} Get a Reduction…
• {H} Help me, I’ve fallen, and I can’t get up!…

Send this to all that will appreciate it!

They forgot the German bra. – Holtzemfromfloppen

A new and easy test for the horror of Covid 19 is doing the rounds and it’s simple, quick and positive (or negative if you see what I mean). Take a glass and pour a decent dram of your favorite whisky into it; then see if you can smell it. If you can, then you are halfway there.

Then drink it. If you can taste it then it is reasonable to assume you are currently free of the virus because the loss of the sense of smell and taste is a common symptom.

I tested myself 7 times last night and was virus free every time, thank goodness.

I will have to test myself again today because I have developed a throbbing headache which can also be one of the symptoms.

 I’ll report my results later.

Prior to her trip to America, Carol (a blonde chick from England ), confided to her coworkers and friends she had three goals for her trip;

• She wanted to taste some real western Bar-B-Q.
• She wanted to take in a bona fide rodeo…And…
• She wanted to have sex with a local cowboy.

Upon her return, the girls were curious as to how she fared.

‘Let me tell you, they have beef to die for, and when they Bar-B-Q it, the taste is unbelievable!’

‘And I went to a real rodeo. Talk about athletes…Those guys wrestle full grown bulls! They ride horses at a full gallop, then jump off the horses and grab the bull by the horns and throw them to the ground! It is just incredible!’

Then came the big question, ‘Well tell us, did you have sex with a real cowboy?’

‘Are you kidding me? When I saw the size of the condoms they carry in their back pockets I changed my freakin’ mind!’

Brought to you by:

A group of seniors were sitting around talking about all their ailments at MCDONALDS. “My arms have got so weak I can hardly lift this cup of coffee,” said one.

“Yes, I know,” said another, “My cataracts are so bad; can’t even see my coffee.”

“I couldn’t even mark an “X” at election time because my hands are so crippled,” volunteered a third.

“What? Speak up! What? I can’t hear you”, said one elderly lady.

“I can’t turn my head because of the arthritis in my neck,” said one, to which several nodded weakly in agreement.

“My blood pressure pills make me so dizzy!” exclaimed another.

“I forget where I am and where I’m going,” said another.

“I guess that’s the price we pay for getting old,” winced an old man as he slowly shook his head.

The others nodded in agreement.

“Well, count your Blessings,” said a woman cheerfully, “Thank God we can all still drive.”

Sitting by the window of her convent, Sister Barbara opened a letter from home one evening.

Inside the letter was a $100 bill her parents had sent. Sister Barbara smiled at the gesture.

As she read the letter by the window, she noticed a shabbily dressed stranger leaning against the lamp post below.

Quickly, she wrote, “Don’t despair. – Sister Barbara,” on a piece of paper, wrapped the $100 bill in it, got the man’s attention and tossed it out the window to him.

The stranger picked it up, and with a puzzled expression and a tip of his hat, went off down the street.

The next day, Sister Barbara was told that a man was at her door, insisting on seeing her. She went down, and found the stranger waiting.

Without a word, he handed her a huge wad of $100 bills.

“What’s this?” she asked.

“That’s the $8,000 you have coming Sister,” he replied. “Don’t Despair paid 80-to-1.”