Day Brightener – So You Think Gasoline Is Expensive
This is priceless!
All these examples do NOT imply that gasoline is cheap; it just illustrates how outrageous some prices are. You will be really shocked by the last one (at Least, I was)!!!
Think a gallon of gas is expensive? This makes one think, and also puts things into perspective.
Diet Snapple, 16 oz. , $1.29 … $10.32 per gallon!
Starbuck’s Reg. Coffee 16 oz., $2.10… $16.80 per gallon!
Lipton Ice Tea, 16 oz. , $1.19 … $9.52 per gallon!
Gatorade, 20 oz. , $1.59 …. $10.17 per gallon!
Ocean Spray, 16 oz. , $1.25 .. $10.00 per gallon!
Brake Fluid, 12 oz. , $3.15 …. $33.60 per gallon!
Vick’s NyQuil, 6 oz. , $8.35 … $178.13 per gallon!
Pepto Bismol, 4 oz., $3.85 . $123.20 per gallon!
Whiteout, 7 oz. , $1.39 …….. $25.42 per gallon!
Scope, 1.5 oz. , $0.99 ….$84.48 per gallon!
And this is the REAL KICKER.
Evian water, 9 oz. , $1.49 ..$21.19 per gallon! $21.19 for a gallon of WATER!! and the buyers don’t even know the source!! (Evian spelled backward is Naive.)
Ever wonder why computer printers are so cheap? So they can hook you for the ink. Someone calculated the cost of the ink; you won’t believe it but it’s true: $5,200 a gal.
$5,200 A GALLON!!!
So, the next time you’re at the pump, be glad your car doesn’t run on water, Scope, Whiteout, Pepto Bismol, NyQuil or, God forbid, Printer Ink!!!!!
Day Brightener – We’ve All Talked To This Guy
If you have ever made a “Customer Service” call, you’ve talked to this guy.
Mujibar was trying to get a job in India.
The Personnel Manager said, ‘Mujibar, you have passed all the tests, except one. Unless you pass it, you cannot qualify for this job.’
Mujibar said, ‘I am ready.’
The manager said,’Make a sentence using the words Yellow, Pink, and Green .’
Mujibar said,
‘The telephone goes green, green, and I pink it up, and say, Yellow, this is Mujibar.’
Mujibar now works at a call center.
Now you know!
Day Brightener – Political But Pokes At Both Sides Vulnerabilities
A man and a woman in a hot air balloon realized they were lost. They lowered their altitude and spotted a man in a boat below.
The woman shouted to him, “Excuse me, can you help us? We promised friends we would meet them an hour ago, but we don’t know where we are.”
The man consulted his portable GPS and replied, “You’re in a hot air balloon, approximately 30 feet above ground elevation of 2,346 feet above sea level. You are at 31 degrees, 14.97 minutes north latitude and 100 degrees, 49.09 minutes west longitude.
She rolled her eyes and said, “You must be a Republican.”
“I am,” replied the man. “How did you know?”
“Well,” answered the balloonist, “everything you told me is technically correct. But I have no idea what to do with your information, and we’re still lost. Frankly, you’ve not been much help to us.”
The man smiled and responded, “You must be a Democrat.”
“We both are,” replied the balloonist. “How did you know?”
“Well,” said the man, “you don’t know where you are – or where you are going. You’ve risen to where you are, due to a large quantity of hot air. You made a promise you have no idea how to keep, and you expect me to solve your problem. You’re in exactly the same position you were in before we met, but somehow, now it’s my fault.”
Day Brightener – Three Images To Get The Day Going, Particularly The First One!
Dear God, please send clothes for all those poor ladies on grandpa’s computer. Amen
Day Brightener – Q And A From AARP Forum
|
Q: Where can single men over the age of 70 find younger women who are interested in them? |
A: Try a bookstore, under Fiction. |
|
Q: What can a man do while his wife is going through menopause? |
A: Keep busy. If you’re handy with tools, you can finish the basement. When you’re done, you will have a place to live. |
|
Q: Someone has told me that menopause is mentioned in the bible… Is that true? Where can it be found? |
A: Yes. Matthew 14:92: “And Mary rode Joseph’s ass all the way to Egypt…” |
|
Q: How can you increase the heart rate of your over-70 year-old husband? |
A: Tell him you’re pregnant. |
|
Q: How can you avoid that terrible curse of the elderly wrinkles? |
A: Take off your glasses. |
|
Q: Seriously! What can I do for these crow’s feet and all those wrinkles on my face? |
A: Go braless. It will usually pull them out.. |
|
Q: Why should 70 plus year old people use valet parking? |
A: Valets don’t forget where they park your car. |
|
Q: Is it common for 70-plus year olds to have problems with short term memory storage? |
A: Storing memory is not a problem, Retrieving it is the problem. |
|
Q: As people age, do they sleep more soundly? |
A: Yes, but usually in the afternoon. |
|
Q: Where should 70-plus year olds look for eye glasses? |
A: On their foreheads. |
|
Q: What is the most common remark made by 70-plus year olds when they enter antique stores? |
A: “Gosh, I remember these!” |
|
SMILE, You’ve still got your sense of humor! |
|
Loren Berg's Blog 