#1:  Cars Were Colorful!  Most cars these days look fairly bland, but in the 50’s, our cars were big, bright, and fun!

#2.  We Got Dressed Up for Birthday Parties.  And sometimes there was even a pony there!

#3:  We Played in the Streets:  We didn’t have to text our friends back in the day – we’d all just come outside and get to playing!  Who was a two-sewer slugger?

#4:  Gas Was Very Cheap:  On some days, it was only $0.20 a gallon, and beyond that, the people at the station could fix just about anything!

#5:  The Ben Franklin 5-10 Was Everything:  We loved going to these stores.  They had just about anything and everything you could think of. So did Woolworth, Kresge and J.C. Penny!

#6:  If it Wasn’t the Ben Franklin, it was the A&P!

#7: Our Skates Got “Locked” with a Key.  They were also made almost entirely of metal and very hard to skate on!

#8:  The Drive-In Was The Place to Be:  This 1950’s photo from South Bend, Indiana, shows how popular they were!

#9:  Car Seats Were More Like Couches:  That’s right – they were big, long, and you could slide all the way across!  How about that Jane Russell bra!

#10:  The Freezer Actually Had to be DEFROSTED!:  That’s right, every now and then you’d have to manually defrost the freezer – sometimes it took all day – with a lot of scraping!

#11:  Grandma Let Us Do Everything.  Well, maybe that hasn’t changed so much, but we LOVED eating off the beaters!

#12:  Sometimes Your Food Came On Roller Skates!  Certain restaurants had “roller girls” who would zoom your food out to you!

#13:  We got DOWN at the Sock Hop!  And sweet 16 parties!

#14:  Sunday Drives Were A Thing:  On Sunday, many of us would load up the family car and just go cruising over to the neighbors or just around town!

#15:  There Was One TV.  And, surprise, we didn’t argue all night about who should get to watch their favorite show.  Most of the time, we all liked the same shows!

#16:  The Playgrounds were VERY Different:  At recess, we’d swing from the monkey bars with wild abandon and often even stand on the swings and go as high as possible.  And still, we survived!

#17:  TV Had “Sign Off” Messages.  Remember these?  TV would go off at midnight and sometimes even go as far as playing the National Anthem all night.

#18: Just One Hula Hoop Wasn’t Enough:  Some of us could do multiple at a time!

#19:  We didn’t Text, But We Did Pass Notes!  And we were experts at not getting caught!  Check out the shoes!

#20:  We Had Xylophones That We Kept on a Pull String.  There was nothing like the Pull a Tune!

#21:  We Got Bottled Cokes and Loved Them: No cans or plastic bottles back then.  We were 100% excited when we’d find a cooler like this to get that ice-cold bottle!

Those Were The Days, My Friends!

A man walks into a bar and sits down, and orders a drink. Bartender says, “I’m sorry sir, you already seem very drunk, I cannot serve you.”

Guy gets up and leaves.

A few minutes later, he comes in again, sits down at the bar and tries ordering another drink.

“I’m sorry sir, but I cannot serve you because you already seem drunk. Please leave.”

Guy gets up, grunts and wanders off again through the same exit.

Another few minutes goes by and the same guy comes back in, sits down and tries to order yet another drink.

“SIR, I’VE ALREADY TOLD YOU NOW TWICE THAT YOU’RE TOO DRUNK AND I CANNOT SERVE YOU.”

Dude looks at the bartender all surprised and slurs:

“How many bars do you work at?!!!”

Do you believe in miracles? Well, I didn’t either until I saw this young miracle worker restore the vision of a blind panhandler right on the street!

I Rest My Case!

SMART ASS ANSWER #6
It was mealtime during an airline flight. ‘Would you like dinner?’, the flight attendant asked John, seated in front. ‘What are my choices?’ John asked. ‘Yes or no,’ she replied.

SMART ASS ANSWER #5
A flight attendant was stationed at the departure gate to check tickets. As a man approached, she extended her hand for the ticket and he opened his trench coat and flashed her. Without missing a beat, she said, ‘Sir, I need to see your ticket, not your stub.’

SMART ASS ANSWER #4
A lady was picking through the frozen turkeys at the grocery store but she couldn’t find one big enough for her family. She asked a stock boy, ‘ Do these turkeys get any bigger?’ The stock boy replied, ‘No ma’am, they’re dead…’

SMART ASS ANSWER #3
The police officer got out of his car as the kid who was stopped for speeding rolled down his window. ‘I’ve been waiting for you all day,’ the officer said. The kid replied, Yeah, well I got here as fast as I could.’ When the cop finally stopped laughing, he sent the kid on his way without a ticket.

SMART ASS ANSWER #2
A truck driver was driving along on the freeway and noticed a sign that read: Low Bridge Ahead. Before he knows it, the bridge is right in front of him and his truck gets wedged under it. Cars are backed up for miles. Finally a police car comes up. The cop gets out of his car and walks to the truck driver, puts his hands on his hips and says, ‘Got stuck, huh?’  The truck driver says, ‘No, I was delivering this bridge and I ran out of gas.’

SMART ASS ANSWER OF THE YEAR 2014!!
A college teacher reminds her class of tomorrow’s final exam. ‘Now class, I won’t tolerate any excuses for you not being here tomorrow. I might consider a nuclear attack or a serious personal injury, illness, or a death in your immediate family, but that’s it, no other excuses whatsoever!’ A smart-ass student in the back of the room raised his hand and asked, ‘What would you say if tomorrow I said I was suffering from complete and utter sexual exhaustion?’ The entire class is reduced to laughter and snickering. When silence was restored, the teacher smiled knowingly at the student, shook her head and sweetly said, ‘Well, I guess you’d have to write the exam with your other hand.’

A BONUS EXTRA
A woman is standing nude looking in the bedroom mirror. She is not happy with what she sees and says to her husband, ‘I feel horrible; I look old, fat and ugly… I really need you to pay me a compliment.’ The husband replies, ‘Your eyesight’s damn near perfect.

Whether you love them or hate them, the Art of the Pun should not be underestimated, as it takes skill to craft comical wordplay hat can make people laugh and cringe at the same time.   One group to master the art of funny puns, is the Indian Hills Community of Colorado, who’ve been making regular punny roadside signage to the delight of everyone. The man behind the jokes is Colorado native and volunteer at the community center, Vince Rozmiarek. He made his first sign as an April Fools prank and has never looked back.

A man walks into a bar with a bag and orders a drink.

After awhile, the bartender asks him, “What is in the bag?”

The man says, “Nothing, don’t worry about it”

The night continues and the bartender keeps asking but the man keeps giving him the same answer.

Towards the end of the night the bartender offers the man a free beer if the man shows him what is in the bag.

The man agrees.

He reaches into the bag and pulls out a tiny piano and a tiny man that sits down and starts playing the piano.

The bartender says, “Wow! That’s amazing! Where did you find they guy?”

The man looks up and says, “I have this magic lamp that grants me wishes, but the stupid thing is broken.”

The man then hands the bartender the lamp and says, “You can try it if you want.”

The bartender happily grabs the lamp and wishes for a million bucks and the room is suddenly filled with a million ducks.

“This thing is definitely broken!” says the bartender.

The man replies, “Tell me about it, do you really think I wished for a twelve inch pianist?”

A rabbi walks into a bar with a parrot on his shoulder. The bartender says, “Where did you get that?” The parrot says, “Brooklyn, they’re everywhere!”

A ghost walks into a bar, the bartender says, “Sorry, we don’t serve spirits.”

A man walks into a bar with a piece of asphalt under his arm and says “A beer please! And one for the road!”

A polar bear walks into a bar and says to the bartender: “I’ll have a Gin and… Tonic.”
The bartender asks, “Why the big pause?” And the polar bear replies, “I don’t know, I’ve always had them.”