The best story of year doesn’t give the proper praise and credit for this painful, but understandable story as told by a loving wife.

The pastor asked if anyone in the congregation would like to express praise for answered prayers.

Barbie Smith stood and walked to the podium. She said, “I have a praise.

Two months ago, my husband, Phil, had a terrible bicycle wreck and his scrotum was completely crushed. The pain was excruciating and the doctors didn’t know if they could help him.

You could hear a muffled gasp from the men in the congregation as they imagine the pain that poor Phil must have experienced.

“Phil was unable to hold me or the children,” she went on, “and every move caused him terrible pain. We prayed as the doctors performed a delicate operation, and it turned out they were able to piece together the crushed remnants of Phil’s scrotum and wrap wire around it to hold it in place.”

Again, the men in congregation cringed and squirmed uncomfortably as they imagined the horrible surgery performed on Phil.

“Now,” she announced in a quivering voice, “thank the Lord, Phil is out of the hospital and the doctors say that with time, his scrotum should recover completely.”

All the men sighed with unified relief. The pastor rose and tentatively asked if anyone else had something to say.

A man stood up and walked slowly to the podium. He said, “Hi, I’m Phil.” The entire congregation held its breath.

“I just want to tell my wife; the word is sternum.”

An elderly man rear-ends a guy driving an expensive sports car. Enraged, the guy hops out of his car and confronts the old man. “Look what you did to my car” he yells. “You’re gonna give me $10,000 right now or I’m gonna beat you to a bloody pulp!”

“Oh my,” says the old man, “I don’t have that kind of money. Let me call my son, he trains dolphins and he’ll know what to do.”

“Dolphins,” the other driver huffs, while rolling his eyes. The old man pulls out his phone, dials his son and just as the son answers, the irate man snatches the phone away from the old man. “So, YOU’RE a dolphin trainer, huh? Well, your old man here just rear ended my car and I need ten grand right now or I’m gonna beat you AND your old man to a bloody pulp.”

“I’ll be there in 10 minutes, ” says the voice calmly on the other end.

Exactly ten minutes later a Jeep pulls up and a guy hops out and proceeds to pulverize the bully, leaving him in a bloody heap on the side of the road.

When he’s finished, he walks over to his father and says: “For the LAST TIME dad… I train SEALS… NAVY SEALS… NOT dolphins.”

May God bless—and save—America!!

Glass takes one million years to decompose, which means it never wears out and can be recycled an infinite amount of times!

Gold     is the only metal that doesn’t rust, even if it’s buried in the ground for thousands of years.

Your tongue     is the only muscle in your body that is attached at only one end.

If you stop getting thirsty, you need to drink more water. When a human body is dehydrated, its thirst mechanism shuts off.

Zero     is the only number that cannot be represented by Roman numerals. 

Kites     were used in the American Civil War to deliver letters and newspapers.

The song Auld Lang Syne     is sung at the stroke of midnight in almost every English-speaking country in the world to bring in the new year.

Drinking water after eating     reduces the acid in your mouth by 61 percent. Drinking a glass of water before you eat may help digestion and curb appetite.

Peanut oil     is used for cooking in submarines because it doesn’t smoke unless it’s heated above 450F.

The roar     that we hear when we place a seashell next to our ear is not the ocean, but rather the sound of blood surging through the veins in the ear.

Nine out of every 10     living things live in the ocean.

The banana     cannot reproduce itself. It can be propagated only by the hand of man.

The University of Alaska     spans four time zones.

The tooth     is the only part of the human body that cannot heal itself.

In ancient Greece   ,  tossing an apple to a girl was a traditional proposal of marriage. Catching it meant she accepted.

Warner Communications     paid $28 million for the copyright to the song Happy Birthday, which was written in 1935!

Intelligent people     have more zinc and copper in their hair.

A comet’s tail     always points away from the sun.

The Swine Flu     vaccine in 1976 caused more death and illness than the disease it was intended to prevent.

Caffeine     increases the power of aspirin and other painkillers, that is why it is found in some medicines.

The military salute     is a motion that evolved from medieval times, when knights in armor raised their visors to reveal their identity.

If you get into the bottom of a well or a tall chimney and look up,     you can see stars, even in the middle of the day.

When a person dies,     hearing is the last sense to go. The first sense lost is sight.

In ancient times     strangers shook hands to show that they were unarmed.

Strawberries and cashews     are the only fruits whose seeds grow on the outside.

Avocados     have the highest calories of any fruit at 167 calories per hundred grams.

The moon     moves about two inches away from the Earth each year.

The Earth     gets 100 tons heavier every day due to falling space dust.

Due to earth’s gravity     it is impossible for mountains to be higher than 15,000 meters.

Mickey Mouse     is known as “Topolino” in Italy.

Soldiers     do not march in step when going across bridges because they could set up a vibration which could be sufficient to knock the bridge down.

Everything     weighs one percent less at the equator.

For every extra kilogram     carried on a space flight, 530 kg of excess fuel are needed at
lift-off.

The letter J, does not appear anywhere on the periodic table of the elements.

Maintaining a sense of humor in today’s political climate can be challenging, as political discussions often elicit strong emotions and opinions. However, humor can be a way to diffuse tension, bring people together, and promote empathy and understanding. It’s important to be mindful of the type of humor used, avoiding jokes that are insensitive or offensive, and instead opt for humor that is inclusive and lighthearted. Humor can also be used to make a serious point in a more palatable way, helping to spark conversation and encourage critical thinking.

For example, using satire or irony to highlight a political issue can be an effective way to bring attention to it in a non-threatening manner. Political cartoons and sketch comedy shows are other examples of using humor to address political topics. Making light of one’s own political views or poking fun at politicians can also be a way to add some levity to the often-tense discourse. Ultimately, the key is to use humor in a way that is respectful and doesn’t further divide people.

Humor can also be used to address religious topics and beliefs. However, it is important to keep in mind that religion is a sensitive and personal subject for many people, and humor may not always be well received. As with political humor, it is essential to be respectful and not use humor to make fun of or demean others’ beliefs. Humor can be a way to bring people of different beliefs together, but it should be done in a way that is not divisive or offensive. Additionally, it is important to be mindful of cultural and religious differences, as what may be considered funny in one culture may not be so in another.

While avoiding discussions about politics and religion is a safe and often wise option in many social settings, as these topics can be very controversial and polarizing. However, it’s worth noting that avoiding these subjects entirely may limit meaningful conversations and the opportunity to understand different perspectives. If you do choose to engage in discussions about politics or religion, it’s important to be respectful and open-minded, and to listen actively to others’ opinions. If a discussion becomes heated or unproductive, it may be best to change the subject or to respectfully agree to disagree.

Here are some tips for using humor to address political and religious topics:

1. Avoid offensive or insensitive jokes – it’s important to be mindful of the language and tone used, and to avoid humor that is hurtful or demeaning to individuals or groups.
2. Use satire and irony – these techniques can be effective in highlighting political or religious issues, but it’s important to make sure that the point being made is clear and not misinterpreted.
3. Be self-deprecating – poking fun at one’s own political or religious views can be a way to diffuse tension and promote empathy and understanding.
4. Highlight the absurdity of the situation – using humor to point out the ridiculous aspects of a political or religious issue can be an effective way to make a serious point in a more palatable way.
5. Keep it light and positive – humor is a powerful tool for bringing people together, so it’s important to use it in a way that promotes positivity and unity. 
6. Humor can be a great tool for addressing serious topics in a way that makes them more accessible and relatable.

By using humor in a thoughtful and respectful manner, humor can address political and religious topics in a way that is entertaining, educational, and thought-provoking.

A good laugh from time to time is the best medicine.

Having already downed a few power drinks, she turns around, faces him, looks him straight in the eye and says,

“Listen here, good looking. I will screw anybody, anytime, anywhere, their place, my place, in the car, front door, back door, on the ground, standing up, sitting down, naked or with clothes on… It doesn’t matter to me. I just love it.”

His eyes now wide with interest, he responds, “No kidding… I’m in Government too. Are you federal or state?”