– How does Moses make tea? Hebrews it.  

• Venison for dinner again? Oh deer!  

• A cartoonist was found dead in his home. Details are sketchy.  

• I used to be a banker, but then I lost interest.  

• England has no kidney bank, but it does have a Liverpool.  

• I tried to catch some fog, but I mist.  

• They told me I had type-A blood, but it was a Typo.  

• I changed my iPod’s name to Titanic. It’s syncing now.  

• I know a guy who’s addicted to brake fluid, but he says he can stop any time.  

• I stayed up all night to see where the sun went, and then it dawned on me.  

• This girl said she recognized me from the vegetarian club, but I’d never met herbivore.

• When chemists die, they barium.  

• I’m reading a book about anti-gravity. I just can’t put it down.  

• I did a theatrical performance about puns. It was a play on words.  

• I didn’t like my beard at first. Then it grew on me.  

• Did you hear about the cross-eyed teacher who lost her job because she couldn’t control her pupils?  

• When you get a bladder infection, urine trouble.  

• Broken pencils are pointless.  

• What do you call a dinosaur with an extensive vocabulary? A thesaurus.  

• I dropped out of communism class because of lousy Marx.  

• All the toilets in New York’s police stations have been stolen. The police have nothing to go on.  

• I got a job at a bakery because I kneaded dough.  

• Velcro – what a rip off!  

• Don’t worry about old age; it doesn’t last.