Now most seniors never get enough exercise;
So God decreed that Seniors should become forgetful so they would have to search for their glasses, keys, and other things, thus doing more walking. And God looked down and saw that it was good.

Then God saw there was another need.
So God made Seniors lose coordination so they would drop things, requiring them to bend, reach, and stretch. And God looked down and saw that it was good.

Then God considered the function of our bladders and decided that seniors would have additional calls of nature, requiring more trips to the bathroom, thus providing more exercise. God looked down and saw that it was good.

So if you find, that as you age, you’re getting up and down more and more, just remember that this is the way God designed us. It’s in your best interests, even though you mutter complaints under your breath.

Here are ten important facts to remember as we grow older:

Number 10 – Life is a sexually transmitted condition that inevitably results in death.

Number 9 – Good health is merely the slowest possible rate at which one can die.

Number 8 – Men have two emotions: Hungry and Horny. If you see him without an erection, make him a sandwich.

Number 7 – Give a person a fish and you feed them for a day. Teach a person to use the Internet and they won’t bother you for weeks, months, maybe years.

Number 6 – Some people are like a Slinky–not really good for anything, but you still can’t help but smile when you shove them down the stairs.

Number 5 – Health nuts are going to feel stupid someday, lying in the hospitals, dying of nothing.

Number 4 – All of us could take a lesson from the weather. It pays no attention to criticism.

Number 3 – Why does a slight tax increase cost you $800, and a substantial tax cut save you $30?

Number 2 – In the 60s, people took acid to make the world weird. Now the world is weird and people take Prozac to make it normal.

Number 1 – Life is like a jar of Jalapeno peppers–what you do today might burn your ass tomorrow.

– – – and as someone recently said to me: “Don’t worry about old age–
it doesn’t last that long.”