This is dedicated to all of us who are seniors and to all of you who will become seniors.

“WHERE is my SUNDAY paper?!”

The irate customer called the newspaper office loudly demanding to know where her Sunday edition was.”Madam,” said the newspaper employee, “today is Saturday. The Sunday paper is not delivered until tomorrow, on SUNDAY!”

There was quite a long pause on the other end of the phone, followed by a ray of recognition as she was heard to mutter, …. “Well, shit, that explains why no one was at church either.”

p.s. Until you retire, you cannot fully appreciate this!

The Scotsman 

My wife and I walked past a swanky new restaurant last night. “Did you smell that food?” she asked. Then she added: “It smells incredible!”

Being the kind hearted Scotsman that I am, I thought, “What the heck, I’ll treat her.” So we turned around and walked past it again.