The way you play, Sir, it’s a crime any day of the week!
What’s the line caddy
On the seventeenth of the Wentworth Club Course, a very careful player was studying the green. First, he got down on his hands and knees to check out the turf between his ball and the hole. Then he flicked several pieces of grass out of the way and getting up he held up a wet finger to try out the direction of the wind. Then turning to his caddie he asked:
“Was the green mowed this morning?”
“Yes, sir.” “Right to left or left to right?”
“Right to left, sir.”
The golfer putted… and missed the hole completely. He whirled on the caddie, “What TIME?”
The worst caddy
Bill was 26 over par by the eighth hole; he had landed a fleet of golf balls in the water hazard, and dug himself into a trench fighting his way out of the rough. When his caddy coughed during a 12-inch putt, Bill exploded.
“You’ve got to be the worst caddy in the world!” he screamed.
“I doubt it,” replied the caddy. “That would be too much of a coincidence.”
Heaven & Earth
“I’d move heaven and earth to be able to break 100 on this course,” sighed Mac, the golfer.
“Try heaven,” advised the caddie. “You’ve already moved most of the earth.”