Day Brightener – For My Older Friends And To Give The Younger Ones Something To Look Forward To!

  1. OlderMy goal for 2016 was to lose just 10 pounds … only 15 to go …
  1. Ate salad for dinner …Mostly croutons & tomatoes … Really just one big, round crouton covered with tomato sauce … And cheese… FINE, it was a pizza… I ate a pizza …
  1. How to prepare Tofu: 1. Throw it in the trash. 2. Grill some Meat.
  1. I just did a week’s worth of cardio after walking into a spider web…
  1. I don’t mean to brag but… I finished my 14-day diet food in 3 hours and 20 minutes …
  1. A recent study has found women who carry a little extra weight live longer than men who mention it…
  1. Kids today don’t know how easy they have it… when I was young, I had to walk 9 feet through shag carpet to change the TV channel…
  1. Senility has been a smooth transition for me…
  1. Remember back when we were kids and every time it was below zero out they closed school? Me neither.
  1. I may not be that funny or athletic or good looking or smart or talented … I forgot where I was going with this …
  1. I love being over 70 … I learn something new every day … and forget 5 others…
  1. A thief broke into my house last night … He started searching for money … so I woke up and searched with him…
  1. My dentist told me I need a Crown … I said, “You bet, pour mine over rocks” …
  1. I think I’ll just put an “Out of Order” sticker on my forehead and call it a day…

“Just remember, once you’re over the hill you begin to pick up speed.”

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