Day Brightener – Words Of Wisdom

wisdomAs I hurtled through space, one thought kept crossing my mind – every part of this rocket was supplied by the lowest bidder. ~ John Glenn

When the white missionaries came to Africa they had the Bible and we had the land. They said ‘ Let us pray.’ We closed our eyes. When we opened them we had the Bible and they had the land. ~ Desmond Tutu

America is the only country where a significant proportion of the population believes that professional wrestling is real but the moon landing was faked.~ David Letterman

After the game, the King and the pawn go into the same box. ~ Italian proverb

Men are like linoleum floors. Lay ’em right and you can walk all over them for thirty years. ~ Betsy Salkind

The only reason they say ‘Women and children first’ is to test the strength of the lifeboats. ~ Jean Kerr

I’ve been married to a communist and a fascist, and neither would take out the garbage. ~ Zsa Zsa Gabor

You know you’re a redneck if your home has wheels and your car doesn’t. ~ Jeff Foxworthy

When a man opens a car door for his wife, it’s either a new car or a new wife. ~ Prince Philip

A computer once beat me at chess, but it was no match for me at kickboxing.~ Emo Philips

Wood burns faster when you have to cut and chop it yourself..~ Harrison Ford

The best cure for sea sickness is to sit under a tree. ~ Spike Milligan

Lawyers believe a man is innocent until proven broke. ~ Robin Hall

Kill one man and you’re a murderer, kill a million and you’re a conqueror. ~ Jean Rostan

Having more money doesn’t make you happier. I have 50 million dollars but I’m just as happy as when I had 48 million. ~ Arnold Schwarzenegger

We are here on earth to do good unto others. What the others are here for, I have no idea. ~ WH Auden

If life were fair Elvis would still be alive today and all the impersonators would be dead. ~ Johnny Carson

I don’t believe in astrology. I am a Sagittarius and we’re very skeptical. ~ Arthur C Clarke

Hollywood must be the only place on earth where you can be fired by a man wearing a Hawaiian shirt and a baseball cap. ~ Steve Martin

Home cooking. Where many a man thinks his wife is. ~ Jimmy Durante

America is so advanced that even the chairs are electric. ~ Doug Hamwell

The first piece of luggage on the carousel never belongs to anyone. ~ George Roberts

If God had intended us to fly he would have made it easier to get to the airport.~ Jonathan Winters

I have kleptomania, but when it gets bad, I take something for it. ~ Robert Benchley

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