Day Brightener – Watch Your Language – A New Guide To Politically Correct Speech

Due to the climate of political correctness now pervading America; Kentuckians, Tennesseans and West Virginians will no longer be referred to as ‘HILLBILLIES’ and/or ‘REDNECKS”. You must now refer to them as APPALACHIAN-AMERICANS.

And furthermore,

womanHOW TO SPEAK ABOUT  WOMEN AND BE POLITICALLY CORRECT:

  1. She is not a ‘BABE’ or a ‘CHICK’ – She is a BREASTED AMERICAN.’
  2. She is not ‘EASY’ – She is   ‘HORIZONTALLYACCESSIBLE.’
  3. She is not a ‘DUMB BLONDE’ -She is a ‘LIGHT-HAIRED DETOUR OFF THE INFORMATION SUPERHIGHWAY.’
  4. She has not ‘BEEN AROUND’ – She is a ‘PREVIOUSLY-ENJOYED COMPANION.’
  5. She does not ‘NAG’ you – She becomes ‘ VERBALLY REPETITIVE.’
  6. She is not a ‘TWO-BIT HOOKER’ – She is a ‘ LOW-COST PROVIDER.’

ManHOW TO SPEAK ABOUT MEN AND BE POLITICALLY CORRECT:

  1. He does not have a ‘BEER GUT’ – He has developed a ‘LIQUID GRAIN STORAGE FACILITY.’
  2. He is not a ‘BAD DANCER’ – He is ‘ OVERLY CAUCASIAN.’
  3. He does not ‘GET LOST ALL THE TIME’ – He ‘ INVESTIGATES ALTERNATIVE DESTINATIONS.’
  4. He is not ‘BALDING’ – He is in ‘FOLLICLE REGRESSION.’
  5. He does not act like a   ‘TOTAL ASS’ – He develops a case of RECTAL-CRANIAL INVERSION.’ (Loved this one!)
  6. 6. It’s not his   ‘CRACK’   you see hanging out of his pants – It’s ‘TROUSER CLEAVAGE.’ (Loved this one even more!)

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