80% held up their hands.
The Minister then repeated his question. All responded this time, except one man, an avid golfer named Walter Barnes who attended church only when the weather was bad.
“Mr. Barnes, it’s obviously not a good morning for golf. It’s good to see you here today. Are you not willing to forgive your enemies?”
“I don’t have any,” he replied gruffly.
“Mr. Barnes, that is very unusual. How old are you?”
“Ninety-eight,” he replied.
The congregation stood up and clapped their hands.
“Oh, Mr. Barnes, would you please come down in front & tell us all how a person can live ninety-eight years & not have an enemy in the world?”
The old golfer tottered down the aisle, stopped in front of the pulpit, turned around, faced the congregation, and said simply, “I outlived all the sons of bitches!”
All golfers should live so long as to be this kind of old man! Old golfers never die, they just keep driving away.