#1 – I talk to myself, because there are times I need expert advice.
#2 – I consider “In Style” to be the clothes that still fit.
#3 – I don’t need anger management. I need people to stop pissing me off.
#4 – My people skills are just fine. It’s my tolerance for idiots that needs work.
#5 – The biggest lie I tell myself is, “I don’t need to write that down. I’ll remember it.”
#6 – I have days when my life is just a tent away from a circus.
#7 – These days, “on time” is when I get there.
#8 – Even duct tape can’t fix stupid – but it sure does muffle the sound.
#9 – Wouldn’t it be wonderful if we could put ourselves in the dryer for ten minutes, then come out wrinkle-free and three sizes smaller?
#10 – Lately, I’ve noticed people my age are so much older than me.
#11 – “Getting lucky” means walking into a room and remembering why I’m there.
#12 – When I was a child, I thought nap time was punishment. Now it feels like a mini vacation.
#13 – Some days I have no idea what I’m doing out of bed.
#14 – I thought growing old would take longer.
#15 – Aging sure has slowed me down, but it hasn’t shut me up.
#16 – I still haven’t learned to act my age.