Day Brightener – Two Short Vignettes To Kick Things Off

He said….. I don’t know why you wear a bra; you’ve got nothing to put in it.
She said…. You wear pants, don’t you?

He said…… Shall we try swapping positions tonight?
She said….  That’s a good idea – you stand by the ironing board while I sit on the sofa and fart!

He said…… What have you been doing with all the grocery money I gave you?
She said…. Turn sideways and look in the mirror!

He said…… Why are married women heavier than single women?
She said…. Single women come home, see what’s in the fridge and go to bed.  Married women come home, see what’s in bed and go to the fridge.

Subject: What are the odds?
I picked up a hitchhiker last night. He said, Thanks, how do you know I’m not a serial killer?

I replied, The chances of two serial killers being in the same car are astronomical.

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