An engineer, an architect and a politician were arguing about which profession came first.

“Engineering of course” said the engineer. “Somebody had to build the universe.”

The architect goes, “who do you think designed it before you could build it? Somebody had to put order into chaos first.”

The politician goes, “who do you think created the chaos?”

“Daddy,” a little girl asked her father, “do all fairy tales begin with ‘Once upon a time’? ”

“No, sweetheart,” he answered. “Some begin with ‘If I am elected.”