The Great Lao-Tzu said
“It is only when you see a mosquito landing on your testicles that you come to realize that you can solve problems without using violence.”

Sign Seen In Bar & Restaurant Yesterday
Your don’t have to be crazy to work here.
We will train you.

Sex & Calories
They say that during sex you burn off as many calories as running 8 miles.
Who the hell runs 8 miles in 15 seconds?

After my Prostate Exam:
The Doctor left. Then the Nurse came in. As she shut the door, she whispered the three words no man wants to hear: “Who was that”?

Quote from John Wayne;
“Life is hard and harder if you are stupid”

Remember:
Humor is like salt, everything goes better with it.

Consistency:
I didn’t make it to the gym today. That makes five years in a row.