I cut my drinking in half by eliminating the orange juice in my screwdrivers.
One spelling mistake can destroy your life. Husband sent a message to his wife: “I’m having a wonderful time. Wish you were her.
I’m not saying she was stupid, but I asked her to spell Mississippi and she said, ‘The river or the state?”
If I wanted your opinion, I would have married you.
It’s a shame that 99.9 percent of politicians give the rest a bad name.
Good grammar skills is something in which I excel in.
I thought I finally found my groove. Turns out, it’s a rut.
I don’t remember the words ‘anything you say can and will be used against you’ being in my marriage vows.
But you must believe in free will. You have no choice.
So, I got home, and the phone was ringing. I picked it up and said: ‘Who’s speaking, please? And a voice said, ‘You are.”
I like using Latin phrases when speaking in English and vice versa.
Why do fat chance and slim chance mean the same thing?
Little Jimmy says to his mom, ‘When I grow up I want to be a man.’ Mom says, ‘Don’t be silly, you can’t do both.’
How many teenage girls does it take to change a light bulb? Eleven: one to change the light bulb and ten to take photos to put on Facebook.