The longer you’ve been married, the funnier this becomes!
An elderly married couple was at home watching TV. The husband had the remote and was switching back and forth between a fishing channel and the porn channel. The wife became more and more annoyed and finally said: “For god’s sake! Leave it on the porn channel. You already know how to fish!”
A thoughtful Scottish Husband was putting his coat and hat on to make his way down to the local pub. He turned to his wee wife before leaving and said, ‘ Heather – put your hat and coat on, lassie.’ She replied, ‘Awe Jock that’s nice – are you taking me tae the pub with you? ‘Nay,’ Jock replied ‘I’m turning the heat off while I’m out.’