I lived in a houseboat for a while and started seeing the girl next door. Eventually, we drifted apart.
My boyfriend tried to make me have sex on the hood of his Honda Civic. I refused. If I’m going to have sex, it is going to be on my own Accord.
A man tried to sell me a coffin ⚰️ today. I told him, “that’s the last thing I need!”
The neighborhood barber💈just got arrested for selling drugs. We had been his customers for 8 years. We had no idea he was a barber.
100 years ago, everyone had a horse 🐴 and only the rich had cars. Nowadays everyone has a car and only the rich have horses 🐎! Oh, how the stables have turned.
My boyfriend was dying. I was by his bedside when he said something with a weak voice, “There’s something I must confess.” “Shhh,” I said “There’s nothing to confess. Everything is alright.” “No, I must die in peace,” he said, “I had sex with your sister, your best friend, and your co-worker.” “I know” I whispered, “That’s why I poisoned you… Now close your eyes.”
& Did you hear about McDonald’s trying to get into the high-end steakhouse market? It was just a Big 🍔 McSteak.