Avoid those lab tests and costly co-pays that your doctors tell you to get at Quest Diagnostics.
Simply go outside and pee in the front yard.
If ant’s gather: DIABETES.
If you pee on your feet: PROSTATE
If it smells like a barbecue: CHOLESTEROL
If your wrist hurts when you shake it: OSTEOARTHRITIS
If you return to your house with your penis outside your pants: ALZHEIMER’S