I’m as bored as an Amish electrician.

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Ontario has banned groups larger than 5. If you’re a family of 6, you’re all about to find out who’s the least favorite!

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The longer this goes on, the harder it will be to return to a society where pants and bras are required! Happy hour is starting earlier and earlier. If this keeps up, I’ll be pouring wine in my cereal!

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Today’s Weather?  Room temperature

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30 Days Hath September, April, June, and November All the rest have 31 … except March which had 8000

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Smoking pot and skipping school had me in trouble constantly. Now weeds legal and schools closed … damn kids are livin’ the dream!

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This is stupid.  I just tried to make my own hand sanitizer and it came out as a rum & coke!

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If you get an email with the subject “Knock Knock”, don’t open it. It’s a Jehovah Witness working from home

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After a few days of not going out, I saw someone I knew walking by on the sidewalk outside. I immediately ran to the window and started yelling at them. Now I understand dogs.

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Day 8 of social isolation and it’s looking like Vegas in my house: We’re losing money by the minute. Cocktails are acceptable at any hour. Nobody knows what time it is.