When I retire, I’m movin’ north.
- Oh I wouldn’t dare; she’s only sixteen……..
- I’ll take Shakespeare for $1000, Alex.
- Duct tape won’t fix that.
- Come to think of it, I’ll have a Heineken with a slice of lime.
- We don’t keep no guns in this house.
- You can’t feed that to the dog.
- No kids in the back of the pickup, it’s just not safe.
- Wrestling is fake.
- We’re vegetarians.
- Do you think my gut is too big?
- I’ll have grapefruit and grapes instead of biscuits, grits, and gravy.
- Honey, we don’t need another dog.
- Who gives a sh** who won the Civil War?
- Give me the small bag of pork rinds.
- Too many deer heads detract from the decor.
- I just couldn’t find a thing at Wal-Mart today.
- Trim the fat off that steak.
- Cappuccino tastes better than espresso.
- The tires on that truck are too damn big.
- Y’ve got it all on the C: DRIVE.
- Unsweetened tea tastes better.
- My fiancée, Bobbie Jo, is registered at Tiffany’s.
- I’ve got two cases of Zima iced down for the Super Bowl.
- Checkmate!
- She’s too young to be wearing that bikini.
- Hey, here’s an episode of “Hee Haw” that we haven’t seen.
- I don’t have a favorite football team.
- Youse Guys.
- Those cutoffs ought to be a little longer, Betty Mae.
AND THE NUMBER ONE THING THAT YOU WILL NEVER HEAR A SOUTHERN BOY SAY!
- Nope, no more beer for me. I’m driving a whole busload of us down to help in the (Insert Your Favorite or Unfavorite) Campaign.