Day Brightener – The Rabbi Is Leaving

The local Rabbi explains that he must move on to a larger congregation that will pay him more.    

There is a hush within the congregation. No one wants him to leave.    

Mike Jacobs, who owns several car dealerships in the area, stands up and proclaims: ‘If the Rabbi stays, I will provide him with a new BMW every year and his wife with a Honda minivan to transport their children!’    

The congregation sighs in appreciation and applauds.    

Sam Cohen, a successful entrepreneur and publican, stands and says, ‘If the Rabbi will stay on here, I’ll personally double his salary and establish a foundation to guarantee private secondary school education for his children!’   

More sighs and loud applause.  

 Agnes Jones, age 88, stands and announces with a smile, ‘If the Rabbi stays, I will give him sex.’   

There is total silence.  

The Rabbi, blushing, asks her:  ‘Mrs. Jones, whatever possessed you to say that?’   

Agnes’s 90-year-old husband, Joe, is now trying to hide, holding his forehead with the palm of his hand and shaking his head from side to side, while his wife replies: ‘Well, I just asked my husband how we could help, and he said, ‘—k him!’

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