The local Rabbi explains that he must move on to a larger congregation that will pay him more.
There is a hush within the congregation. No one wants him to leave.
Mike Jacobs, who owns several car dealerships in the area, stands up and proclaims: ‘If the Rabbi stays, I will provide him with a new BMW every year and his wife with a Honda minivan to transport their children!’
The congregation sighs in appreciation and applauds.
Sam Cohen, a successful entrepreneur and publican, stands and says, ‘If the Rabbi will stay on here, I’ll personally double his salary and establish a foundation to guarantee private secondary school education for his children!’
More sighs and loud applause.
Agnes Jones, age 88, stands and announces with a smile, ‘If the Rabbi stays, I will give him sex.’
There is total silence.
The Rabbi, blushing, asks her: ‘Mrs. Jones, whatever possessed you to say that?’
Agnes’s 90-year-old husband, Joe, is now trying to hide, holding his forehead with the palm of his hand and shaking his head from side to side, while his wife replies: ‘Well, I just asked my husband how we could help, and he said, ‘—k him!’