1. The dumbest thing I ever bought was a 2020 planner.

2. I was so bored I called Jake from State Farm just to talk to someone. He asked me what I was wearing.

3. 2019: Stay away from negative people. 2020: Stay away from positive people.

4. The world has turned upside down. Old folks are sneaking out of the house & their kids are yelling at them to stay indoors!

5. This morning I saw a neighbor talking to her dog. It was obvious she thought her dog understood her. I came into my house & told my cat. We laughed a lot.

6. Every few days try your jeans on just to make sure they fit. Pajamas will have you believe all is well.

7. This virus has done what no woman could – cancel sports, shut down bars & keep men at home!

8. I never thought, “I wouldn’t touch him/her with a 6-foot pole” would become a national policy, but here we are!

9. I need to practice social-distancing from the frig.

10. I hope the weather is good tomorrow for my trip to the Backyard. I’m getting tired of the Living Room.

11. Apt analogy. “The curve is flattening so we can start lifting restrictions now” is like saying: “The parachute has slowed our rate of descent, so we can take it off now.”

12. Never in a million years could I have imagined I would go up to a bank teller wearing a mask & asking for money.