During his physical, the doctor asked the patient about his daily activity level.

The golfer described a typical day this way:

• “Well, yesterday afternoon, I waded along the edge of a lake,
• Drank eight beers, escaped from wild dogs in the heavy brush,
• Jumped away from an aggressive rattlesnake,
• Marched up and down several rocky hills,
• Stood in a patch of poison ivy,
• Crawled out of quicksand
• And took four leaks behind big trees.”

Inspired by the story, the doctor said, “You must be one hell of an outdoors man!”

”NAH,” he replied, “I’m just a shitty golfer.”